14 Months - A SOA Story
by VeritasDorea
Summary: My take on the 14 months in between seasons 3 and 4 where Jax is in jail and Tara is pregnant. True to the show's story and mainly from Tara's perspective.
1. Month 1 - Day 1

AUTHORS NOTES:

This is my take on the year+ in between season 3 and 4 of Son's of Anarchy while Jax and most of the Son's are locked up. Mainly from Tara's perspective because I always wondered what she felt during that time and what she had to deal with. I am trying to keep this as true to the show as possible including what we know from the appisodes. My goal is to complete all 14 months leading up to Jax's release. Per the usual I own nothing from Son's of Anarchy.

Hope you enjoy my little take on 14 months of SAMCRO's life that we never got to see. Comments and reviews much appreciated.

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 _Day 1_

As far as Tara knew her life just turned completely upside down. As she arrived back at Jax's, her, home she shut the door and immediately sank to the floor in tears. Agent Stahl had just outed Jax as a rat in front of the club and now he was in an ATF van being carted off to his evident death at the hands of his brothers. Her mind was reeling… how could this had happened. Jax loved his club. They had just gone half-way around the world to save his son. What was going on.

She was silently thanking God that Abel was with Lyla at Gemma's house. God Gemma… she had to be a wreck as well. Her son's death would fall at her husband's hands.

She ran for the bathroom as she could feel vomit rising. That was when she remembered, with a hand to her stomach, she was pregnant. Her child would grow up fatherless and who knew where Abel would land with Jax's treachery. She may never see that child she considered a son again. It was all too much.

There was a knock at the door. Unsure what to do she grabbed the pistol from her bedroom, the one Gemma had given her and slide in the back of her jeans. "One second", she yelled.

It was one of the new prospects. "What do you want," Tara hissed through the cracked door, eyes bloodshot from tears. She could tell he was visibly nervous, surely all her work with the club had warranted that any harm that could come to her would at least be by the hands of an actual member. The prospect must have heard the gun click from behind the door because he froze, "I am not here to hurt you - promise."

"I have a letter for you - Jax asked me to deliver this and said you need to burn it after you read it," the prospect instructed, "I need to stay and make sure it is burned."

Tara slowly opened the door and let the prospect in, the gun still in her right hand just to be sure. She took the letter and opened it…

 _Tara,_

 _If you are reading this letter then Jimmy O and Stahle are dead._

 _I would never betray the club and the deal stands that we will all serve short time._

 _I hope you can forgive me for everything that happened before I left for Abel._

 _All I wanted to do is keep you safe. Stay strong for me baby._

 _I love you more than anything. SAMCRO will look after you and mom. Rosen will be in touch. Love you_

 _-Jax_

She laughed a little, relief overcoming her, as she handed the letter over to the prospect to burn. "Doc Ma'am, Opie and the guys want you to come by the club later."

"Yeah ok," Tara said as she smiled and wiped tears from her face. She reached for her phone and called Gemma.

"Hi," Gemma responded, "assuming you had a campfire as well" the sarcasm in her voice gave way to her own personal relief. Tara laughed a little with relief, "yes, thank God. Can I grab Abel from you tonight? Have to stop by and see the guys."

"Of course honey," Gemma replied with a click to her phone.

All Tara could feel was relief. She would worry about the rest of the crap tomorrow - right now her kids had a father. Unsure of what to do she went into autopilot and made her way to Abel's room laundry basket in hand. She grabbed some of his onsies that were dirty and saw Jax's backpack sitting on the futon. She unloaded some very rank clothes, when his hat with a bustle of letters came out. She read the note attached from some woman named Maureen talking about Jax's father. She would have to look at these later, but her interest was peaked. Now she had to go to the club house.

She pulled into Teller-Morrow automotive, SAMCROs clubhouse and Opie immediately came outside, arms open wide. "Come here Doc," he said in his pure voice. She fell into his arms and let out once single whimper as Opie provided some sense of assurance and stability. "Sorry we gave you a scare there. You ok?" Opie was a tough biker but also a gentle soul, this was part of the reason Jax and him were such good friends. Tara fought back anymore tears, looked up with a half smile and nodded yes. Opie smiled down back at her, "Come on - we have to chat."

Chibs and Piney were waiting inside as they led Tara to the set of old sofas that made up what the guys thought was a seating area. Piney was the first to speak, "Doc, this is how it works, Jax is in prison, you are his old lady… you are under the protection of SAMCRO. You need something - you come to us. We got prospects ready to help out with the crap." He let out a struggled breath from behind his oxygen lead and continued, "Look, Gemma's locked down for six months and I am sorry darling but Jax is number two, which makes you number two, which means your currently number one."

"What does that even mean," Tara asked. Opie jumped in, "not much different than what you have been doing. We may need some assistance here and there, but we know that your a doc, Doc." Tara sunk back in the old sofa even more, unknowingly putting a hand to her stomach. Opie gave her a sympathetic look - he knew what she was about to go through, he had seen it, well not actually seen but lived through it with Donna when he was locked up.

"Guessing SAMRCO doesn't offer maternity leave…" Tara half joked. Chibs broke his silence, "sure we do, once Gemma is out, then life of luxury for you Doc." She could tell the three guys were trying their best to lighten the mood, make her feel secure, and to some extent she did.

Opie offered her a hand to get up from the couch and walked her to the old cutlass outside. "Hey Tara," Opie said, it was rare for a member to not call her doc, "I just wanted to let you know that yeah SAMCRO has got your back, but Lyla and I are here for you too. I mean Jax is my brother and not just my sons brother… you know?" Tara smiled at him, yeah Opie had a big heart. "Thanks Op," Tara replied as she got behind the wheel. Opie leaned through the window and handed her an envelope of cash, "too keep you going while Jax is out." She smiled and took the envelope then had a realization, "you do know that I am a real life doctor right?" Opie was smiling, "just take the cash Tara, its your right as an old lady." She half laughed as she put the envelope in her bag, "oh hey Opie… never tell him I said that" she joked as she drove off toward Gemma's house to get Abel and head home for the night.


	2. Month 1 - Day 2

_Day 2_

Tara woke up and rolled over almost forgetting that half the bed would be empty. Abel was crying so she had to force herself out of any moment of self pity to go check on him.

She was technically still on sick leave from the hospital from her kidnapping incident, but decided it would be better to go to work and get her mind off things. She called into Margaret and asked for a light shift. Margaret obliged and scheduled her on some easy rounds.

Tara was checking charts in the corridor when Margaret let her know that she had a visitor in her office wanting to talk to her. "She a woman, in a suit, are you ok," Margaret inquired obviously worried for Tara. Tara nodded with a straight face.

She turned the corner to peak in her office and saw Lowen sitting in the guest chair opposite her desk. She relaxed and walked into her office, "Ally, good to see you," Tara said as she hugged the SAMCRO lawyer. "Wish it was under better circumstances," Lowen responded. "I have a few things to go over with you, legal matters," Lowen started as Tara nodded. "First thing first, the sentencing hearing is Thursday at 9am. Given the circumstances I will let you decide what you want to do with that information." Tara continued to sit in silence as the reality of it all washed over her. Jax was going away for just over a year.

"Next bit of business, this" Lowen slid a paper over to Tara, "is the sublet agreement for you legal subletting of Jackson Teller's residence for a term of 14 months. Your rent is a dollar a month that he would like paid up front in his commissary fund as earned income." Tara rolled her eyes, "is this serious?"

"Oh very much so… Tara you are a fun one. You're not his wife, not his baby momma, but also not either of those things, we both want to make sure you are protected… so sign," she said handing over a pen. Tara signed her name with a sigh.

"Congratulation, you now have your very own frat house. Moving onto the more serious matters," Lowen said while sliding more papers over to Tara, "sign here. This is granting access to the accounts of Jackson Teller. And here" Lowen pointed, "this is a power of attorney form." Tara looked up at Lowen, "he is giving me power of attorney, does he know what that even is?"

Lowen gave a sympathetic half smile, "he gets the jist of it, and that's not all he is giving you."

Lowen slid over a larger stack of papers, "these got filed two days ago, it's a wonder they got through the court so fast." Tara read the top of the lengthy document - _JOINT_ _CUSTODY AGREEMENT._ Her eyes went wide as Lowen began a very legal speil while reading off her copy for the contract, "Dr. Tara Knowles, Jackson Teller has petitioned for the court for joint custody of Abel Teller from sole custody of father, Jackson Teller to joint custody between father, Jackson Teller and you, Dr. Tara Knowles. The request comes on behalf the the father and grandmother, Gemma Teller-Morrow and the court awards joint custody to both parties."

Tara was crying as she turned to the last page. Jax had signed, Gemma had signed as a witness, and she had already signed. She looked at Lowen, "sorry Doc, we didn't have a lot of time and you were um being held hostage… Jax left you a note."

"Great another note from Jackson Teller," Tara responded. Lowen handed over a post it that read:

 _My family, your family, our family._

It was enough - she knew what he was making up for. Lowen interrupted, "you know what this means Tara?" Tara with the first happy tears rolling down her face let out a breath of relief, "yeah, it means I can finally put the kid on my insurance." Lowen laughed, "well it is nice talking to an old lady that gets it. Will I be seeing you on Thursday?"

Tara looked up at her, "yes, yes you will," she smiled as she shook her hand, "and Ally - seriously thank you." Lowen smiled as she left.

Tara finished her rounds at the hospital for the day, got Abel from Gemma's house and headed home where she let it sink in just how serious Jax was about them. It also began to dawn on her how long these 14 months were going to be.

Lowen's next stop was to the jail temporarily holding the members of SAMCRO waiting for their sentencing hearing. As she represented them all she was allowed a group meeting.

"Alright, your trial is Thursday, 9am. We are getting the 3 year sentencing with 14 month probation so keep your mouths shut and your fists down. I am still working on visitation but I remain optimistic." Clay thanked Lowen and some of the guys asked random question. Jax hung his head, this was weighing on him hard.

"Jackson," Lowen motioned for him to come and speak privately, "I wanted to let you know that I met with Tara today. She is fully on board and thank god your joint custody was approved before your sentencing hearing."

"Was she okay with it?" Jax asked honestly.

Lowen gave him a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "she was thrilled." And with that Lowen left.

Clay approached Jax, "what was that about?"

"Got some new shit in my life Clay, had to make some adjustments before we get locked up… have to look after my kid and Tara."

Clay understood, "Tara is a real strong old lady, they will be fine. And Jax, she has been that boys mother since the day he was born, don't forget it. She was his mom even before you knew it." Clay could be a hard ass, but he could speak some hard truths too.

As much as he tried to fight it, Jax could sometimes be vulnerable with Clay when it was just the two of them, "she's pregnant Clay and now has a 9 month old." Clay lifted us his chin and gave him a hard smack on the chest, "cut that crap, I love you son but you cannot go into this with guilt it will eat you up. This is far from perfect, but Doc can handle this - plus Gemma's on lock down is like built in 24/7 daycare that can't leave the house. This will all end ok." Jax straightened up and nodded along letting out a large sigh of relief.


	3. Month 1 - The Hearing

AUTHORS NOTE:

Just a short chapter for you... enjoy! As always I own no rights to Son's of Anarchy

 _THURSDAY - SENTENCING HEARING_

Half of SAMCRO made their way in handcuffs and ankle cuffs onto a bus, dressed in orange, heading to the court house. The other half dawned their cuts and got ready to make the trip to the very same spot.

Tara made her way out to the old cutlass. She was wearing tight black pencil skirt, a white button down, and black heels. Simple, professional but club colors, at least they were sort of club colors she thought. She clicked Abel's car seat into place and drove to the club house.

Pinney got in the passenger seat, "ready for this doc?" he asked. She nodded and with that they were on their way with a full motorcycle escort. Opie and Chibs were in front, then Tara in the cutlass, followed by members from other charters coming in support and the prospects. They pulled up in front of the courthouse and parked, Piney whipping out a handicap placard to ensure they were in front where the prison bus holding the SAMCRO brothers could see them.

Opie opened the car door for Tara who made her way to get Abel in his carrier. Clay, Jax and the rest of SAMCRO looked on from the bus as the members escorted her into the clubhouse.

Tara knew what she was doing. She had to hold her head high, walk tall and channel every ounce of Gemma Teller take-no-crap attitude that she could muster. She had to be fearless.

Clay clapped Jax on the shoulder, "well boys my queen has been sentenced to the castle, so looks like the princess is on the throne." Jax smiled as the guys gave him reassuring hits on the back. He had to admit she looked hot and fierce strutting up the steps of the courthouse, flanked by SAMCRO, carrying his son.

Tara was seated in the first row directly behind where Jax would likely be sitting. She was holding Abel on her lap, knowing Jax would want to see him. The side door opened and the guys trudged through, shuffling a bit due to their ankle cuffs. Jax smiled at Tara, "hey baby."

"Hey," was all she could whisper back fighting back tears she knew had no place in this room, with this crowd. The hearing started as they were advised to stand as the presiding judge entered the courtroom. It all went as planned. 3 years, 14 months with probation and thankfully weekly visitation.

As the gavel fell, SAMCRO stood to be carted off to Stockten's prison to serve their time - 14 months. Jax seized his moment and leaned over the wooden railing separating him from Tara and gave Abel a quick kiss on the head and her the shortest kiss that spoke volumes. "I love you," he said as the guards pulled them all away.

Opie placed a hand on her back and escorted her out to her car. She got to the driver side door and breathed heavily fighting off a wave of nasuea, rubbing her stomach with one hand and bracing herself holding onto the door jam with the other. Piney came over to the driver side, taking the keys, "why don't you just ride along momma." She nodded and got into the passenger's seat.


	4. Month 1 - Week 2

AUTHORS NOTES:

Thanks so much for the great reaction so far! I was originally going to do each month as a chapter but figured it may be better to break them up into smaller sections. Reviews much appreciated! As always I do not own SONS OF ANARCHY - enjoy!

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 _MONTH 1 - WEEK 2_

They all found their routine after a few days. Tara would wake up, throw up, get Abel ready for the day, drop him at Gemma's and go work at the hospital. Abel was the one light for Gemma during her house arrest and seeing as how Tara was currently living with some serious single mom status, Lyla and the prospects were assigned to take care of Gemma's needs. Getting her weekly, sometimes daily grocery orders, runs for garden supplies and the other various items she would come up with.

Tara ate most dinners at Gemma's when she went to pick up Abel, with Gemma happy for the company and Tara thankful to not be eating alone. They had worked out their plan quickly after the guys were locked up. Gemma kept Abel during the day and overnight on Tara's once a week night shift. Tara had Abel mornings, nights and on her days off.

Jax, Clay and the rest of SAMCRO had been through processing at Stockten. Tattoos carefully noted and photographed, bunks assigned all together, and work detail placements arranged. Due to processing time, their first visitation wouldn't be until the next Saturday. Clay had established early on that the Mayans would help supply protection to SAMCRO on the inside.

One week down, Jax thought as Saturday rolled around for their first visitation. Opie had explained the club rules for visitation to a very reluctant Tara. The club would meet first, then she could see Jax. She sat outside in the waiting room, Abel still in his carrier, thinking to herself how much bullshit this was that she had to wait on the club yet again to get to Jax.

About 10 minutes later Opie opened the door and brought her in. Jax slowly walked to her trying to get a feel for her mood. She smiled softly so he knew everything would be ok.

"Hey babe," Jax said softly as the two of them sat at a table. He kissed her deeply and their foreheads stayed together as they pulled apart. They stayed for just a moment in this silence. "you ok," he asked quietly. "Ya were good," she said with a soft confidence. "And how are my boys," he spoke with more vigor, shifting his attention to Abel laying in the carrier. He looked at the guard who nodded that it was fine for him to pick up Abel.

Tara let out a sigh, "your boy" she said stressing the singularity of it, "is very good. Your other one," she said rubbing her belly, "is equally good, although I wish they would let me keep some food down." Jax gave Tara another kiss, this one lighter, "morning sickness that bad?" She looked at him and rolled her eyes nodding yes. "Next doctor's appointment is a week from Tuesday, should have a new ultrasound picture then."

"And we will know he's a boy?" Jax playfully questioned. "Sorry babe, got at least another month on that one." Abel starting looking over to Tara and reaching out for her. Jax looked down at him and handed him over to Tara keeping his small hand in his. "Come here babe," Tara spoke to Abel in a bit of a baby voice. "Guess he's doing fine," Jax sarcastically scuffed as Abel curled into her chest. "Kids are resilient, this one's proved to be a fighter, he just knows where his clean butt and bottle comes from," she said as Jax look a bit defeated, "and where his protection comes from," she said taking his hand.

Jax kissed her again as the guard told them they had two minutes left. "Am I going to see you next week?" Jack questioned. Tara answered with a deep kiss, "of course I will be here." They kissed again knowing time was running out. Jax reached out a put one hand on her belly and the other rubbing Abel's back, "be good boys." Tara just rolled her eyes.

"Alright, time's up," a guard announced over the room. Tara and Jax stood and shared one last kiss. "I love you," Tara spoke, "love you too babe," was all he could say as was taken out of the visitation room.


	5. Month 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you all so much for your feedback so far... I am going to post full longer chapters so you have more to read of my little/long story. Slight adult themes in this chapter, but I mean this is SOA...

Also my plan is to weave other SOA characters into this story here and there so if you have someone you love send me a note and I will try to work them in. More Gemma is already in the works... As always I own nothing of SOA and I hope you enjoy month 2.

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MONTH 2

At 11 weeks, Tara still wasn't really showing her pregnancy yet, even though her jeans were noticeably getting tighter. Lyla had made it a point to be at Tara's doctors appointment with her when she wasn't on set. Lyla had gone through her pregnancy mainly alone and knew that even someone as strong-willed as Tara would need some support and a hand to hold.

Tara and the baby got a clean bill of health at their check-up and an updated ultrasound photo to show Jax. She was grateful for Lyla and tried not to think about how shitty it was that Jax wasn't there. Hell, even Gemma being able to come with her would be nice, but she had just finished the first month of her house arrest.  
Tara found comfort in sticking to her routines and figured that this is how she was going to make it through these 14 months. Just follow the schedule and nothing bad can happen she thought to herself, knowing that it was a partial lie.

As every Saturday rolled around she and Abel loaded up the old cutlass and drove to the prison to see Jax. He was elated to see the new ultrasound photo. The two found their familiar seat at the metal tables in the visitation room. "The doctor says everything is looking good... Lyla has been coming with me babe," Tara admitted. "Yeah, she a good girl," Jax responded. Tara was stroking Jax's arm with her hand absentmindedly, "she loves Opie and Opie loves you."

"How's the little guy treating you," he asked. His hand hand been on her hip and he slid his thumb over her barely larger stomach. Tara was always happy to talk about her pregnancy, "morning sickness sucks, that's for sure. But other than that, I don't know… uh," she fanned off a small wave of tears, "sorry my hormones are everywhere." She continued to fight back the tears. Jax kissed the hand he was holding. "How's jail," she said laughing trying to change the subject and ward of her tears. Their visitation time was up before they knew it and with a kiss for each of them Abel and Tara were headed back to Charming.

Lyla had called and asked if she wanted to have some company that Saturday night. Opie, Chibs and the guys were doing some run that she did not want to ask questions about and Tara. Lyla wasn't like Tara, she didn't need to know everything. About 2 hours later Lyla rolled up with her row of kids Ellie, Kenny and Piper along with three pizzas and some salad. "First rule of motherhood," Lyla sarcastically informed, "is to always have movies. You got a DVD player?" she asked holding up a few kids films. Piper was Lyla's daughter and Ellie and Kenny were Opie's kids, but they had both taken to Lyla pretty quickly after her and Op got together.

The two moms sat in the kitchen around the table, Lyla drinking a glass of wine, while the kids were engrossed in a movie. "Sorry girl, it sucks that you can't drink or do anything while Jax's locked up," Lyla confessed as she took a sip of wine. "How're you getting through all this?" Lyla asked. Tara let out a big sigh as she sunk lower into the kitchen chair, "uh well I pretty much do the same thing every day hoping I just get through it all." Lyla shook her head in sympathy.

"Hormones driving you nuts yet," Lyla asked. Tara laughed, "God yes, I was fucking crying in front of Jax today for no fucking reason. That's not what he needs..."

"Been there," Lyla said taking a sip of her wine, "your whole body is like, oh you think that you are tough bitch… and you end up in tears for no reason." They both laughed. It was nice having someone, other than Jax to share her pregnancy with. In front of Jax, Tara felt like she had to keep everything super positive but with Lyla she could just be herself.

"Can I ask you a question and I hope it is not too... intrusive…" Lyla asked carefully, "I just remember how I felt… hormones are off the chain and you are…" "Horny as fuck…" Tara interrupted, "yeah that's about right." They both laughed. "The one thing guys never count on when they knock you up…" Lyla sarcastically admitted. "Yeah well at least most of them are around to help a girl out," Tara admitted.

"Well you can at least handle that department on you own, for now..." Lyla joked, "it'll suck when you can't see your feet anymore and leave the house in two different shoes."

"Great, this is what I have to look forward too, a year with no sex life and mismatched shoes," Tara was at least laughing about the tragicness of it all.

"Yeah I got by for a while but as soon as I popped it was game over for my sex life," Lyla admitted. Tara rubbed her belly instinctively. "Oh yeah your close, you'll start to show in a week or two guaranteed," Lyla advised. They continued to chat until Ellie yelled that the movie was over. "And that is my cue," Lyla said getting up to go check on the kids.

"Well better get these kids to bed," Lyla said standing a hugging Tara. "Thanks for tonight," Tara said, "it was fun."

"We girls gotta look out for each other," Lyla said with a wink as Tara walked her and the kids to the door. She gave Lyla a kiss on the cheek as she left. Tara rocked and fed Abel, finally putting him to bed, before she fell asleep of exhaustion herself.

 _Later in the week..._

Even though Tara was a pediatric and neonatal surgeon, motherhood hit her square in the face the first night she woke up to Abel's coughing and gasping through the baby monitor and for a moment she was terrified. She ran to Abel's room to try and soothe him, realizing he was having trouble breathing she got her wits about her and went into doctor mode. She took his temperature and knew that they would be headed to the ER. She put a cold wash rag on his head to try and cool him off as she loaded him into his carseat carrier.

This was the first time that she had felt really alone and she was not going to lie - this was hard. She was awarded the perks of being on staff at St. Thomas. There was no waiting for a room, no wondering what was going to happen next, she knew... but tonight she was a mom and not a doctor. It was just her and Abel, alone, in a room at St. Thomas. It was as she expected, Abel had bronchiolitis. She should have seen this coming at some point, Abel was a preemie and had a heart condition, which put him at extra risk of bronchiolitis. They put Abel on Palivizumab, made sure his temperature went down, got fluids, and breathing treatments.

She debated calling Gemma in the middle of the night, but decided to wait until the morning, there was nothing she could do anyways.  
"Are you sure he's ok," Gemma was always a ferocious mom and grandma.

"Yeah they want to keep him overnight to make sure he's fine but we should be discharged tomorrow," Tara responded.  
"Okay honey, I am going to call you right back, give my grandson some love from he," Gemma spoke with a click.

Not five minutes later Tara's cell rang again. "Gemma," Tara answered.  
"Someone is gonna come by with some stuff for you." Gemma commanded more than informed.  
Tara was too exhausted to fight, "thats fine... Gemma, do we tell Jax?" She could hear Gemma exhale on the other line, it was a rare moment for Gemma Teller to be silent. "I think we have too, Tara," Gemma said reluctantly, "you want to do it or me?"  
"Shit, let me do it," Tara said equally hesitant.

Tara was asleep in the hospital bed with Abel when there was a knock on the door. Margaret was there with one of the prospects, he had a bag of clothes for both Abel and her. "Thanks," she said as she took the bag. "No worries ma'am," the prospect replied, "just give us a call if you need anything - Gemma's orders."

Tara stayed with Abel all day. She looked at a few of her patients charts, but for the most part was just a worried parent. Her cell phone rang...  
She took a big breathe in and heard the automated message that she was accepting a phone call from Stockten, "Hey baby," she answered with exhaustion in her voice.  
"Hey how's everything," Jax asked as normal as ever. He could hear Tara breathing heavy on the other end of the line, "what is it?"  
"Everyone is ok," she said confidently to reassure him, "but Abel had a little trouble breathing last night so we went to the emergency room... he got a breathing treatment and we are just going to put him on some medication to make sure he stays fine." There was a moment of silence.

"Fuck Tara," his tone was a mix of anger and sorrow, "fuck, I should fucking be there."  
"Hey," she took a commanding tone with him, "this is normal. Kids go to the hospital and we deal... what you are feeling right now is totally normal."  
"Easy to say where you are," Jax interjected.  
"Really Jax," she went on with him, "this is what I do for a living, and right now I am just a parent with a sick kid, just as useless as anyone else..." She calmed her tone down some, "do you want to talk to him?" Jax exhaled and calmed back down as well, "yeah let me talk to him." She put the phone on speaker, "Ok you're on."  
"Hey buddy, you ok? Daddy's here... just keep breathing and feel better - I love you," he spoke slowly to Abel, "babe?"  
"Yeah," she snapped a bit, her exhaustion getting the better of her. "Whatever you need call the club ok?" She nodded silently through the phone.  
Jax went on, "and thank you... God, I couldn't be doing this without you." He heard her sniffle on the other end of the line. "I love you," Jax said softly.  
"Yeah I love you too," she quietly spoke back. "Shit babe, I've got to go... give him a kiss from his dad."  
"I will, love you ba...be", the phone cut off before she could finish. She pulled Abel into a cuddle and kissed the top of his head.  
"We can do this ok honey," she was talking to Abel, "we are going to be ok."


	6. Month 3

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Another full month for this chapter, a bit long but I had a lot of fun writing this one... hope you enjoy!  
Seriously thank you all for your reviews and comments - really means a lot of me! Again, let me know if there is any specific characters you guys want more of... I definitely have more SAMCRO fun coming in this story soon. As always I own nothing of SOA characters but events are my own and enjoy!

* * *

 **Month 3**

It was Saturday morning, the day of her weekly visit with Jax at Stocken. Abel was doing just fine since their drama filled night at the emergency room. Tara was getting ready to see Jax, looking in the mirror not sure of what to do. It had happened, she had definitely "popped" as they say. Her low rise jeans still fit but now under her small but noticeable bump and she could not figure out what top to wear. Something baggy so Jax couldn't see her slightly larger stomach or something tight to show off the little bump. She turned sideways and surveyed her baby bump in the mirror. "What the heck," she said as she grabbed the tighter tank from her closet.

Tara walked into the visitation room and Jax saw the change in her right away, "oh hey momma," he said playfully. The member of SAMCRO whistled as Tara rubbed her belly and turned to the side to show off her little bump. Jax sauntered up to Tara with some sexiness in his walk.

"How are you gorgeous," Jax asked placing both his hands on her hips giving her a kiss. "I'm good, sorry babe, I still didn't want to risk anything with Abel so I left him with Gemma. Next week he should be fully clear to come visit" Tara explained but Jax was smitten with her. "It's good babe," his eyes still roaming over her.

"Fuck… you look hot knocked up," Jax spoke lustfully.

Either the 3 months without her were starting to lay into him or he genuinely was getting turned on by her bearing his kid. He kissed her again. His hands moved to her stomach, "God what I would do to you," he spoke softly. Yup he was definitely missing her in his bed.

Tara had to break the haze he was under, "how are you doing? Are you ok?" He still wasn't completely shook from her but finally led her to sit down one of the tables. "I'm good," he spoke with a boyish grin, "how are you, boys taking care of you?" She nodded. Opie, actually probably more of Gemma, had sent the prospects over to mow the lawn, stock the fridge and do some things around the house after their two nights in the hospital.

Jax's hand kept running up and down her arms, he was not going to break any physical contact with her this week. "You got it bad, don't you," Tara playfully questioned. "You have no idea," Jax replied. "You'd be surprised," Tara replied with a little lust in her eyes. He kissed her.

"Oh am I being missed?" Jax asked flirtatiously, "You seem to be handling everything just fine," Jax spoke in between kisses. Tara moved her arms to his shoulders wrapping behind his head, "oh I can handle things, maybe I just miss being handled." She leaned in for a deep kiss.

Jax pulled away from her for just a moment, "you're gonna kill me woman, you know it," as they kissed again.

"So momma," he finally decided to have a real conversation, "I can see Abel next week?" Tara nodded, "yeah, he's been fine. Your mom has seen this as her moment to be super grandma… he's spoiled rotten." Jax just smiled, "let him, he's been through enough." Tara kept her thoughts to herself on this one… of course Jax would want to spoil Abel, but he didn't have to put him to sleep when he had been coddled all day. She rubbed Jax's arm again and rested her head against his shoulder. "What do you need Tara," he asked earnestly. She just smiled up at him, "nothing, just this," she closed the space between them and pulled into his embrace, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah you need more than this… we both do," he joked as he sneakily copped a feel of her breast. She playfully shook her head at him. The guard gave them a two minute warning.

"See you in a week momma," Jax said as he kissed her goodbye.

* * *

Throughout the week Abel had continued to improve health wise and in a few other ways. Tara was back to her normal shifts at the hospital and Gemma was well, being Gemma. If Clay hadn't been calling the shots from inside she would have taken over the whole club from her stint in house arrest. She had decided from the hospital night that the club needed to look after Tara more, so prospects and members were dropping by more frequently. Tara really didn't mind, but there wasn't a lot for them to do.

Tara got Abel bathed and ready to head for the weekends visitation. The club needed to meet before, and thankfully it was relatively short so she could spend more time with Jax. He had still hadn't gotten used to seeing her with her growing baby bump. "Hello my boys", he said reaching first for Abel off Tara's hip, "and my beautiful girl." He gave Tara a short and sweet kiss as they went to sit at a table.

"Still don't know if it is a boy," Tara reminded him. Jax shrugged his shoulders at her. She could tell he was so glad to see Abel, he was holding him up trying to entertain him, asking him questions about how he was feeling. Tara rubbed his leg, "Babe, I want to re-do the nursery. Abel will eventually move into the other room but I am gonna have two babies in there at once you know." Jax was pretty much entranced with his boy, "ya babe do whatever you want."

"Noted," Tara spoke softly under her breathe. "You need cash?" Jax asked.

"Nah, haven't had to use any of the stuff Opies been given me so we are more than good. Piney offered the prospects to me for a weekend so we will get it done."

Jax looked over at her, "haven't had to use any of the cash? What about this kid," Jax spoke as he bounced Abel, "fucking doctors visits are a fortune. Let alone two days in the hospital" She looked at him with a sweet, but condescending are you kidding me glance.

"Abel's been on my insurance since the day you got in here - I have good coverage," Tara explained. "Fuck I should get on your insurance," Jax joked. Tara rolled her eyes slightly, "everything would be a lot easier if you were," she said so quietly under her breath that Jax could not even hear, not that we would understand.

"What babe?"

"Nothing," Tara responded nonchalantly. He continued to play with Abel as she rested her head on his shoulder watching the two of them.

"Mama."

"What was that buddy?" Jax asked.

"Mama," Abel's small arms reached out towards Tara and Jax handed him over. Tara let out a big sigh as she took him, "oh come here," she spoke to Abel.

"When did this happen?" Jax asked as Tara who now had Able sitting on her lap. She looked at him with sympathy. "Oh this is a new development, started about 3 days ago," Tara spoke cautiously.

"And were you going to tell me?" Jax questioned.

"Oh course I was going to tell you," Tara responded, "I had just hoped we could grow his vocabulary a bit more before we came clean. Are you pissed?" She had a sympathetic look in her eye.

"No babe, of course not, look at my little man, fucking talking," Jax said somewhat faking his pride. "You can blame Gemma," Tara started, "she was convinced GrandMa would be his first word but that back fired on her a bit."

"Yeah I am sure it did," Jax laughed. "I hate to ask," Tara asked softly, "but are you ok with it?"

"Tara," Jax spoke her name in the familiar stern way he did when she was either jumping to a dumb conclusion or pissing him off, "you think I want one kid calling you mom and the other callin' you Tara? I promise I am thrilled."

He gave her a kiss to try and reassure her. "Now time to learn a new word," Jax said taking back his son, "dada - say dada." Abel just sat in silence with a dumb half baby grin on his face.

* * *

Immediately after the weeks visitation Tara rushed to Gemma's house with Abel in tow. "Gemma," she yelled barging into the Morrow residence where Gemma was confined. "Everything ok honey," she yelled back as she made her way to the front living room. Tara looked her flat in the eye, "we have got to get this kid to say dada and fast." Gemma fully understood, "oh no, he didn't, ah fuck... how's Jax." Tara interrupted, "he played it off, but he needs this Gem."  
Gemma ran around the house gathering every photo of her son she could find and for the next three hours Gemma and Tara sat pointing to photos of Jax trying to coax Abel into his next word.

Out in the yard Clay could tell something was up with Jax. "What's up son, everything good at home? Abel ok?" Clay asked. "Yeah, yeah" Jax said with his head hung kicking imaginary rocks, "He said his first word…" he looked up at Clay, head tilted in annoyance, "momma."  
"That's amazing," Clay said as he leaned in to give him a hug, "so what's the issue."  
"I donno, he's my kid," Jax could already hear the stupidity in his words. Clay was quick to lay into him, "yeah he is your kid… and hers. Come on Jax you fucking know that, you fucking set it up." Jax was already backpedaling, "yeah I know, it's just…"  
"Jax," Clay interrupted, "its not an issue of who is whos - he's both of yours, she's more than earned that right. Issue is you're not around and I am sorry for that son. But this is life - he probably would have said momma first if you were there every day. Just take it for what it is and move on - I guarantee the kid will learn how to say dada." Jax just nodded his head, he knew Clay was right.

* * *

Gemma and Tara spent the whole next week reinforcing momma and dadda using photos of Jax. When the next weeks visitation rolled around Tara got about two kisses, a "hey how's my other kid doing", and gave the rest of his attention to Abel trying to get that one word out.  
"It'll happen Jax," Tara reassured him.

Then for good measure Abel threw in a timely, "momma, momma." Tara dropped her head onto Jax's arm she was exhausted herself. Jax finally put an arm around her and kissed her on the head. "Yeah we both love momma don't we little man," Jax spoke sweetly she looked up and kissed him.

* * *

It was a hard week in between visits. Tara was working long hours at the hospital only to come home to Gemma's house and a few more hours of their baby speech training. They had gotten him to say it a few times but not consistently. Not to mention on top of it all Jax's other child, who she was thankful was silently still in her belly, was starting to mess with her sleep patterns.

She was noticeably exhausted when Opie escorted her into the visitation room that next week.

"Babe, you ok," she really couldn't hide from Jax, he knew her inside and out. "Yeah just a lot this week you know," she responded, "Had two emergency surgerys, some killer heartburn, and this kid," looking down at Abel, "is a bundle of energy right now." He picked up Abel. "You being good for momma," Jax asked Abel. Tara yawned sitting down at the table. Jax sat down next to her with Abel on his lap. He looked at her worried.

"Babe, take a day… call in sick, drop Abel at my mom's," Jax was sweet but Tara's hormones got the best of her as she snapped, "I am handling it ok."

"I didn't say you weren't," he said back defensively as he kissed the top of Tara's head who was now leaning into him her eyes closing slowly.

"Dada"

Jax started rambling, "you have to take care of yourself, you go down - this family goes down…"

"Dada" - Tara looked over to Abel with eyes wide.

"What was that honey," she interrupted, "Jax shut up" she commanded hitting him in the side.  
Abel was bouncing on Jax's lap when he said it again, "dada." Tara broke out into full tears, dropping her head onto the metal table. Jax grin grew from ear to ear.

"Hell yes, dada, I am dada," Jax spoke then noticing Tara losing it on his right side.

"Babe, babe" he coaxed a bit worried … She lifted her head she was balling her eyes out but with a full smile. "These fucking hormones," she said leaning into give Jax a kiss tears streaking her cheeks. Jax was able to get one more "dada" out before the guard called for the two-minute warning.

"This was you wasn't it," he looked at Tara. She nodded still crying, "your mom helped too."

"I love you, you know that," Jax looked at her. "You better," Tara responded before they kissed.

From the car Tara called Gemma, "he did it," was all she could say. She could feel Gemma smiling through the phone.

When Jax returned to the SAMCRO unit post visitation he had a shit kicking grin on his face. Clay could already guess what was about to happen. "I am fucking dada, kid said it," Jax pronounced. The crew all cheered for him as Clay gave him a big hug. Clay knew from his calls with Gemma the last two weeks just how much practice had been going down in Charming, but he was happy for Jax - this was win he needed.


	7. Month 4

AUTHORS NOTE:

Seriously thank you for all the feedback! This one took a little bit more to write but I hope you enjoy...  
A little blast from the past finally surfacing

* * *

"Hey Gem," Tara called out as she entered the Teller-Morrow residence. Tara had a relatively light day at St. Thomas and was able to finish her rounds in time and sneak out in time for dinner. Entering the Teller-Morrow fortress, she was immediately flooded with the smell of the food that Gemma had been cooking.  
"Hey baby," Gemma yelled back from the kitchen, "you staying for dinner?"  
"Sure…" she didn't want to admit that it had been her plan all along. Tara spotted Abel sitting on the floor playing, "hey honey," she sat down next to him as he called out "momma."

Gemma walked in and smiled at the two of them playing together, "you really are good with him." Tara looked up and smiled back genuinely.  
"You know Gem, his birthday is in two weeks," Tara reminded. Gemma came a sat on the sofa close to the two of them. "Yeah I know.. what are you thinking?" Gemma asked.  
"We should do it here… keep it small, you know," Tara said, distracted by Abel but Gemma was happy to have the party at her house. Especially seeing as she still couldn't leave the house. "Sounds perfect," Gemma rubbed Tara's shoulder, "come on lets eat."

Abel had started to progress in his milestones quickly. He had began standing with the assistance of holding onto the table or couch for a few weeks now, but had not yet taken those first few steps on his own. And once Abel had started talking it had been hard to shut him up. He said "momma'" and "dadda" but his favorite word had quickly become "no." Gemma had gone to pick up Abel to put him in the high chair while they ate dinner and not to her surprise she was met with a chorus of "no's."  
"Yeah, yeah," Gemma ignored, "you can sit for ten minutes and let your mom eat something."

"You seeing Jax on Saturday?" Gemma inquired. Tara was in between bites, "of course. Why?"  
"Just making sure he's taken care of's all," Gemma continued, "I can't do much with my jewelry here," she motioned to her ankle monitor.  
"You take care of his son," Tara reminded, "you do enough." Gemma laughed sarcastically, "Oh, I would take care of this boy even if Jax was still under my roof."

Abel had passed out in his carseat on the ride home and Tara easily got him into his crib to sleep. Tara looked around the nursery mentally redesigning the space to soon be home to two Teller boys. She opened the dresser to put up some clean laundry and saw the stack of letters that she had forgotten in the rush of Jax's sentencing. With Abel peacefully snoozing she sat down in the nursery and began to read...

It hadn't taken Tara long to read all the letters that Jax's father had written Maureen, some love letters, some pure confessional, other diatribes on errors of SAMCRO. Her curiosity had been spiked and she began to question everything she thought she knew, but then she would pick up Abel from Gemma's house and see the love that she had for this child. Tara knew that JT had been right about Gemma and Clay getting together, but to Gemma's defense he had not been faithful either. Gemma was a force, that's for sure, but a force for her family and right now Tara was part of that family and needed the security of it.

Seeing Clay in the visitation room had been a different experience though. His snake like smile greeting her and Abel, Jax alongside. Betrayal from Clay was something she could easily see, but for Jax's sake she shook off her eerie feelings. "Hey babe," Jax's innocent smile greeting her and his son. Jax took Abel from her as Clay came in for a hug and kiss on the cheek, "good to see you Doc. Let's sit."

The three of them sat at one of the tables, "Pres and VP, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Tara had sensed that this was club business.  
"Need to ask a favor Tara," Jax started, "Just need you to run a little distraction next week for Opie and Chibs."  
Clay gave one of his wicked smiles, "feeling like a drive up the coast doc." Tara looked to Jax trying to read his expression.  
"Zero risk babe," Jax started, "only way I would be ok with this. Opie will fill you in on the rest." Jax took her hand as Tara nodded, "ok, fine."

Clay smiled, "glad to hear it, now can I see this little one," Clay reached over to Abel, "give you two a minute."  
"Tara I promise this one is safe," Jax started afraid of the on coming conversation. Tara just shook her head, "Jax I trust you...just don't make this a habit. I think my services for the club are better kept to pulling out bullets and stitching you up again." Jax came over to her side of the table and gave a kiss.

"You planning something for the kid's birthday," Jax asked. "Yeah, just a small thing at your mom's," Tara responded.  
"Get him something from me, okay?" he went on. "Course babe," she responded pushing his hair out of his face. Clay returned Abel to Tara, "he was asking for you momma." She took Abel and stood him up on her lap as he bounced along, "someone is getting a bit restless and looks ready for a nap," Tara spoke sweetly to Abel. "Seems like he is going to start walking soon," Tara informed Jax. "You ready for that momma?" he returned. Tara just laughed, "chasing this one around? I'll be fine, it's Gemma I'm worried about."

The guard let them know there time was up. Clay gave Abel a kiss on the head and Tara a kiss on the cheek giving Jax a moment to give her a proper goodbye.

Once she was back in her car she called Opie from her cell phone, "Where are we going Op?"

* * *

Turned out Jax had been right, this favor was a relatively easy one. The guys needed to run the guns up to the Tacoma handoff and drop some black market prescriptions to Happy's mom and Bobby's ex. Tara was happy to actually to look in on Happy's mom. Her real job came for one small stretch of road where a local cop, who had been trying to get they guys for speeding had been camping out each weekend. Chibs had decided that the cop knew nothing about their real operation but was just looking to write tickets, none the less they couldn't risk it. Opie had scouted and knew what part of the road he was patrolling.

Tara rolled up in her old cutlass, popped the hood of her car and played the pregnant damsel in distress. On cue, the highway patrolman pulled up to offer his assistance. She had been on the phone with Opie to give him a cue, "its ok babe, a cop just pulled up, will call you back," she hung up, "thank you officer." She tried to seem as helpless as possible, "no idea what happened it just started to smoke a bit so I pulled over." The patrol leaned inside the hood inspecting the engine, just as Opie and Chibs rode by on their bikes giving a small salute to Tara. "Everything looks okay ma'am, maybe just needed to cool off, and watch your coolant."

"Thank you," she said getting back in the car and turning back for Charming her job done. She called Gemma who was watching Abel and reassured her everything was fine and went as planned. "Good, now get your butt back home, kid's been a nightmare today," Gemma commanded. "Oh you mean Jackson Teller's son is not a perfect angel," Tara joked back, "will be home in about 2 hours."

* * *

Abel's little birthday party was planned for Wednesday night. Gemma and Lyla spent the day getting the house ready while Tara took Abel to the zoo for the day. Tara was jut happy to get out of the house for a bit and walk the zoo with Abel. It was so peaceful here alone with Abel and her growing child, there was no club here, no hospital, no sickness and no danger. Just the two, well three, of them.

The party was perfect. Abel sat in his highchair that Gemma had decorated with a banner that read Abel and some balloons. They had ordered a cake with a little motorcycle on it as they sang happy birthday to little Abel. Opie, Lyla and the kids were there along with Piney, Chibs, Unser and of course the proud grandmother overseeing the occasion. Tara helped him blow out his one shaped candle before Abel had his first taste of cake, which he promptly got all over himself. Opie had the job of manning the grill while Tara helped Abel open his presents. She had mainly gotten him clothes, which he needed as he was quickly outgrowing everything. Gemma got him some new toys and Lyla a bundle of new books. Tara was sometimes amazed that the porn star was actually a good mom.

"Well," Tara announce, "I have one more gift for you from your daddy, which I am already regretting." Tara disappeared into the another room and returned with a little baby sized push motorcycle. Chibs and Opie cheered looking at the red and yellow tikes bike, Gemma gave Tara a proud smile. "Figured if it was a gift from Jax it had to be something that would be equally annoying and amusing," Tara shrugged. They snapped some pictures and ended the night with an exhausted and filthy Abel.

* * *

That week at visitation there was no club business just Jax, Abel and Tara. "Happy Birthday big man," Jax said scooping up Abel. Tara had brought some photos along.  
"This ones from you," she said showing him the picture of Abel sitting on the little bike with the help of Tara. "It's perfect babe," he gave her a kiss. Tara sat at the table with a hand on her stomach while Jax walked Abel some holding him up by both of his hands. "How's that one," Jax asked Tara nodding to her stomach.  
"Oh we are moving along, got another doctor's appointment next week," Tara started, "feeling a little better these days, morning sickness has let up some." Jax walked Abel over towards Tara. "You're gonna be a big brother little guy," Jax spoke to Abel.

"And you," she spoke to Abel as well, "have your one year old check up on Tuesday," equally informing Jax. "No," Abel said. "Sorry bud, no choice," Jax laughed.  
"Yeah, and you're not going to like this one," Tara continued as she looked at Jax, "lots of shots." Jax made a face. "He will survive," Tara spoke. "Will you?," Jax joked as the guard motioned to him, "got to go babe." He gave her a kiss as "love you's" were exchanged before Jax disappeared behind the door.


	8. Month 5

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Thank you all so much for your reviews and comments! I know some of you have been wanting a little more Jax so hopefully this helps.  
This is from Tara's perspective and her trials during these 14 months but I think Jax puts on a brave face for her just as she does for him.  
But none the less I hope you enjoy month 5 of our little lock up tale... as always characters are not my own, story beats are. Enjoy!

* * *

Clay and Jax along with most of SAMCRO were running their whole club operation from lock up. Deals with the Niners, Mayans, and Russian were all in progress from behind the walls of Stockton and in the moments of solitude Jax had taken to his journals.

No one from the club had any idea what thoughts were filling the pages of his journals, but Clay had suspected that his father's tendency to write down his darkest thoughts had passed from father to son.

In between club dealings and journal entries Jax, Happy and Juice took it upon themselves to keep in fighting shape. If anything was going to go down they would have to step up for Clay, Tig and Bobby - not that they could say that to any of them. They had been able to make headway with a few guards, with the help of the Mayans, earning favors here and there. Life in prison was without a doubt hard, but not unmanageable. The hardest thing was being away from Abel, Tara and their growing child.

Jax usually got one, sometimes two phone calls in a week, in between his regular weekly visits, and he tried to alternate calls between his mom and Tara. Jax and Clay tried to update each other as much as possible with whoever had last spoken to whomever. It looked like Gemma was getting off house arrest a little early for good behavior. Clay was happy at the though he would soon be able to see his wife and was secretly already sorting a conjugal visit with the helps of a guard. Jax was just happy for Tara to have some more help. Every week she was looking more and more tired as her belly and Abel were both looking bigger and bigger.

As he dialed Tara she answered the phone with her usual, "hey baby." He could already hear it in her voice - exhaustion and something more.

"You okay," he questioned? He swallowed his guilt as he heard her cough on the other end of the line.

"Yeah," she coughed in between words, "we just are down a bit here."

"We…" Jax questioned.

"Don't worry about us," she tried to ward him off.

"Abel sick too," Jax pressed on. He could hear Tara sigh in annoyance on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah babe, we both just have a little cold, that's it - trust me I am a doctor we are ok," Tara was equal parts exhausted and annoyed.

"Yeah babe, I think I know that," now Jax was annoyed, "just don't like that either of you are sick."

"Yeah," she sniffed, "me either honey, but here we are. Just Abel and I curled up on the couch watching our 50th episode of Dora the Explora… show i fucking stupid."

Finally Jax laughed a bit, "you asking for help Tara?" He knew she was proud, often too proud for his liking but with both of them down for the count he would step in if needed. It was as much as he could do to feel like a father and a boyfriend. That word was beginning to feel stranger and stranger to him - he had to be more than that by now.

"I promise we are fine," she tried to reassure as she avoided the question.

Jax sighed into the phone, "yeah sure you are… expect someone coming over."

"Jax…" she started but he cut her off.

"Nah babe… you don't do this shit alone. So go put some pants on someone is coming over.  
Speaking of that…" he leaned into the wall with his signature smirk, " what are you wearing?" Jax's mind turned on a dime.

"Seriously Jaxson?," Tara was half annoyed, "do you want me to lie to you or tell you that I am currently in t-shirt covered in your sons snot."  
Jax just laughed, "I actually love it." Tara half laughed, half coughed back into the phone, "you would sicko."

Tara could hear someone in the background yelling at him to wrap it up - a harsh reminder that he wasn't just away on the road but locked up.  
"Gotta go babe, but seriously expect someone," it was more of a command, "love you both," Jax spoke as he hung up the phone.

Jax got met back up with SAMCRO in the yard shortly after and rounded up the guys.

"What's wrong brother?" Bobby questioned. Jax paced with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, "My fucking old lady and kid are sick," he was venting, "and she is too fucking proud to ask for help. Fuck that shit… whoever had phone privileges call Gemma and tell her she needs to fucking sort this shit out. I want someone looking in on Tara tonight."

Clay knew that Jax always felt anything happening with Tara and Abel deep… it was the JT in him to feel everything. Clay tried to reassure him, "son we got your girl and your boy."

With that Clay disappeared to chat with the current Mayan head of the yard. It would take a favor later, but he got a burner to call Gemma and alert her to what was going on at Jax's house. By the time Clay strode back over the boys of SAMCRO he was sure Gemma had already commanded Lyla, the prospects and every croweater in Charming to Tara and Abel's side.

"It's handled son," Clay spoke to Jax, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "your mother's maternal instincts have been summoned… god help Tara." Sincerely Jax thanked Clay as he put out his cigarette.

There was a knock at the door when Tara let in not only Lyla carrying take out soup, and a prospect with bags of groceries, but behind them all Gemma.

"Don't worry honey, momma's home," Gemma said in her cocky but reassuring tone, "jewelry's gone on behalf of just how good I am." Gemma showed off her newly freed ankle sans her monitor. Tara rolled her eyes but embraced Gemma who promptly sent Tara to bed taking Abel into her arms.

Gemma loved nothing more than the feeling of being needed. Being a mother to Tara and a grandmother to Abel her unborn grandchild. She got busy doing laundry, cleaning up Jax's place and slowly realizing that it was now Tara and Jax's place. The old motorcycle wall art, if you could even call it art, had been replaced by larger printed photos of Abel, and Jax and Tara. Tara had even found a few from their high school days. There were now throw pillows on the couch and a new set of curtains in the living room.

Gemma brought a bowl of soup to Tara in bed, "I like what you've done to the place. Not a fan of Maxim posters?"

Tara shifted into a seated position in bed, "yeah well you fuck a porn star you lose the right to naked women on the walls."  
Tara spoke with some humor in her voice but there was no doubt that she was fully serious.

"I am glad you're here Gemma," Tara finally admitted.  
"Me too baby, me too," was all Gemma could say.

* * *

When the weekend's visitation rolled around it was only Gemma who walked through the doors. Clay and Jax were there to greet her, Clay with his sick smile on his face and Jax looking more worried.

"Missed you baby," Gemma gave Clay a deep kiss, leaving Jax to look down at his prison sneakers, "and I missed you," she said enveloping her son into a hug.  
"Missed you mom," he responded, "no Tara?"

Gemma was wrapped in Clay's arms, "nah baby sorry she's still got a little cold."

"And Abel," Jax asked... it was hard for him to miss a weekend seeing his family.

Gemma gave him a sympathetic smile, "oh he's doing better than his momma, but still didn't want to risk anything. Promise they are both fine."  
She tried as hard as she could to reassure her son, "I promise sweetheart, all are on the mend. You were right to call me in."

Their visit was short. It was good to see his mom but Clay had wrapped her up so tight he felt out of place.

"Got a little treat in the workd for us baby," Jax overheard Clay whispering to Gemma. God help him if Clay was going to get laid before him Jax was going to lose it.

* * *

Jax finally was able to get Tara on the phone and was relived to her some life back in her voice as she answered with a sweet,"hiii..."

"I missed you this week babe," Jax admitted.

"Sorry babe," Tara went on sounding stronger, "I missed you too."

"You sound better..." Tara was trying to get more info out of her.

"Yeah, we are all good over here, Abel is back to raising hell," she spoke as Jax could hear his son demanding attention in the background banging on the coffee table.  
"Come here baby, say hi to daddy," Tara held up the phone to Abel and all Jax could hear was a chorus of no's and mommy's.

"Hey Abel... you feeling better buddy," Jax's heart softened when he heard Abel say "daddy" through the phone.

"Thats right," Tara said in her slight baby voice, "that's daddy." Jax could hear her kiss him through the phone.

"You think you can make it this weekend?" Jax asked.

"For sure," Tara went on, "the baby and I have a check up tomorrow. Your mom's excited to come, she'll finally get to see an ultrasound in person. But Abel and I have the all clear from the club doc to come and see you Saturday." Jax was just left smiling on the other end of the phone, these were small moments of light in his stay at Stockton.

"All right babe, love you," Jax wrapped us as the other inmates were getting inpatient.  
"Love you too baby," Tara said as she hung up the phone.

* * *

Tara was beyond excited to see Jax by the time Saturday rolled around she was itching to get to Stockton. It had been two weeks since she had seen him and her baby bump was no longer just a bump, she was fully pregnant. Opie was going to drive her and Gemma out this time because he needed a few minutes with all the guys. Visitation had started and Opie took the first five minutes to go over SAMCRO stuff before Tara decided to interrupt and walked over in the middle of their meeting.

She stood behind Jax, who was very confused as to why she was there. Tara definitely knew how club business worked, it was member only.  
"Babe, just give me a few more minutes," Jax turned to her and pleaded not sure what level of pregnancy hormones he was dealing with this week.

Opie interrupted, "Jax she's fine. Alright, I know this is not how we do things, but neither is church in a visitation room so whatever, Tara has an announcement to make."

Tara put a hand on Jax who instinctively turned sideways from the table, straddling the bench, to wrap an arm around her legs very unsure of what was coming next.

Tara looked down at him with a smile "Alright sons I have an announcement… looks like we are adding another Teller boy to the ranks," Tara announced as she threw the ultrasound photo down onto the table. It took Jax a moment to process before he shot up from his seat and wrapped his arms around her giving her a deep kiss as the whole club cheered as Gemma walked over to join them.  
"So, for real, it's a boy?" Jax asked.

"Yes, Jackson you won… you are having another boy," Tara spoke to him in a total haze of love. He spun her around kissing her again as Gemma watched on with a smile on her face.

"All right, break it up," the guard motioned. "Sorry man but I am having a boy," Jax said with so much happiness in this face that he looked like a teenager again. Clay, who had been wrapped in Gemma's arms, came over and gave Tara a kiss on the cheek and a hug as Opie gave Jax a big hug.  
"All right all right… lets give these two some time alone," Clay interrupted as he made his way over to Tara for one last kiss on the cheek. "But really I am elated grandson number two, love you Tara," Clay whispered in her ear. The crew gave a few more hugs and slaps on the back as they cleared out the table for Tara and Jax to have a moment.  
"Congratulations baby," Gemma whispered in Jax's ear.

Jax took both of her hand in his and kissed them tenderly. He looked at her is awe. "Thomas," was all Jax said, "what do you think about Thomas?"  
Tara just smiled, "had that one planned for a while huh?" Jax smiled his hand on her stomach, "I have a lot of time to think these days."

"Abel and Thomas... very Biblical, but I like it," Tara started, "and I know what that means to you babe, so yes."  
Jax put both hands on her stomach and kissed the place where he son was nestled safe. They sat for just a moment the two of them, reveling in their joy.

"Someone else wants to say hi to daddy," Tara spoke and nodded to a guard who opened to door to find Lyla carrying Abel over to them wearing a big brother t-shirt.  
"Daddy," Abel said as Lyla passed him over to Jax. "Hey buddy, do you know you are going to have to be a big brother?" Jax spoke to his son.

Gemma and Clay watched on as their little family were safe for the moment in a bubble of love before Jax yelled out, "get over here grandma."

"That's apparently my cue," Gemma spoke to Clay as she sashayed toward Tara and Jax, dragging Clay along behind her.

"GaMa," Abel said seeing Gemma. "That's right," she said picking him up, "we finally learned that word when mommy was sick."

Jax stood up and gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek before turning his attention back to Tara.

Tara rubbed her stomach then Jax's hand, "looks like I have three Teller boys to take care of now."

Jax looked at her confused, "its not twins?"

Tara and Gemma both laughed before Gemma cut in, "she's counting you ya ass," giving him a slap on the back.

"I fucking love you," was all Jax could say alternating between kissing her and her stomach, his second son.

"I love you too baby," Tara returned. 

That night Jax's journal found a moment of hope, a small sliver of light. It was not filled with regret and guilt over why he was there, but on promises for the future, for their future. For the first time he got to write to his boys... both of them. And he let them know that the first thing he was going to do when he got out was marry their mom.


	9. Month 6 - Pt 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Just a heads up month 6 will be a two-parter... lots going on and setting up some stuff I am pretty sure you are gonna like ;)  
So please enjoy and as always characters are not my own - story beats are.

* * *

It was all to common for Tara's phone to ring in the middle of the night. Between her and Jax someone's cell was always dictating their every move as a couple. Whether it was the club or the hospital when she was on call, she had been conditioned to pick up in a half sleep haze.

This time it was Chibs familiar accent on the other end of the line.

"Something's going down Doc, can't leave ya without protection or Jax'd have my balls," Chibs dictated, "Phil's on the way over now."

"Yeah okay," Tara responded half asleep, "anything I need to know?" The club was mainly unaware of how much Jax would tell her about their business, but as the club doc they all knew she was privy to more information than most old ladies.

"Not yet darling," Chibs responded as he shut the phone. Tara retreated into the kitchen, pulling the gun from her nightstand with her, to put on a pot of tea, start some coffee and while she was at it, warm a bottle for Abel. She could never sleep well on these nights, even with an armed guard at her door.

As the tea kettle whistled she heard the sound of a Harley pulling up and a knock on her door. She thought only for a moment about how fucked up it was that she took the gun in her hand so mindlessly to check the peep hold of their front door, seeing the familiar prospects face and letting him in.

Tara made herself a cup of chamomile tea, "made you a fresh pot of coffee, help yourself."

"Thank you ma'am," Phil said as Tara disappeared into Abel's nursery with a fresh bottle.

She did as she had done most nights where protection was sitting in her living room and spent the night on the daybed in the nursery, door locked and gun close. No one would ever hurt either of her sons again.

* * *

Tara woke to Abel standing in his crib holding onto the rail. He need a change and a bottle. Phil was still sitting in the living room, shotgun laid across his lap.

"Good morning," Tara spoke wrapped in her robe, "we in the clear yet?"  
"Not quite ma'am," Phil responded.  
"Well then Abel is coming with me to St. Thomas today… I'll call Gemma," Tara instructed as she dialed Gemma informing her to the plan.

Phil sat in the chair outside of her office at the hospital while Tara worked with Abel inside. Gemma rolled up with her own prospect body guard in tow.  
"Take a seat next to your buddy here," Gemma commanded as she entered Tara's office.

"I hate this shit," Gemma greeted Tara with a hug and kiss on the cheek, "our guys are locked down and what do we have, fucking biker boy scouts following us everywhere we go."

Tara nodded her head in agreement as Gemma made her way to stroke Abel's small amount of hair.

Tara sat on the edge of her desk, "I donno whats worse, full TM lockdown or a prospect shadow."

Gemma laughed, "lockdown sweetheart, too many fucking croweater trying to step up to old lady status, while the rest of us are just trying to make sure our kids aren't going crazy."

"Any idea what this one's about," Tara questioned?

"Nah I don't know shit..." Gemma started. "I know Jax tells you things, Clay's the same - helps us wrap our head around what's next, figure out our place in this whole shitstorm. But these guys are not our men. They have no clue what we know, how much we can handle. You know Donna didn't know shit about the club." This was the first time Gemma had really opened up about this stuff with Tara.

"No I didn't, I figured most of the real old ladies were in the loop... but Jax asked me once if I wanted to know nothing or everything..." Tara trailed off at the memory of finding a spiritually broken Jax looking for some sort of respite in her confidence that day in his bathroom. She had made the choice to know it all, and she had not regretted it.

"You picked right honey, and this... this not knowing is bull," Gemma inserted. "First they plan this whole scheme behind our backs, making us think my poor baby was a rat," Gemma vented, "and then, then we are here with no clue who is trying to off who for what reason. Just plain old dumb in my book."

Margaret had knocked and popped her head into Tara's office, "sorry Tara, can I have you come take a look at the newborn?"  
"Sure, of course," Tara responded, "you mind watching him for a bit?" Tara asked Gemma.

"Go save lives Doc, I got this one," Gemma ushered her off while Gemma picked up and rocked the sleeping Abel.

Gemma and Tara had one more night of guards before they finally got the all clear from the club that they didn't expect any more retaliation. Still Tara slept on the daybed a few more nights with her gun not far from reach, just to be sure.

* * *

After days of restless sleep under the guard of the club combined with Abel attempting to walk and with a growing Teller boy inside of her, Tara had officially hit full exhaustion. Opie had called her and said that he would drive her out to Stockton that week because they had some important club business to discuss before she could see Jax and while she knew this had to be done, it still didn't mean she had to like it.

"This is bullshit Opie," Tara was hiding nothing at this point when Opie entered the visitation room alone, leaving her on the other side of the door.

In the waiting room, Abel was all over the place trying to walk and falling. Tara was reluctantly chasing him around as she kept checking her watch. She finally got Abel to sit still for one second and then he burst into tears for no apparent reason. Tara had just about had it.

She was watching the clock tick past, every minute pushing into her time with Jax and his time with Abel. "What the fuck is going on in there," she thought to herself. She was literally watching the weeks visitation tick by with a crying kid on her lap.

Finally Opie came and got her… "you have to be kidding me?" was all she could say to him.

Opie gave Jax a look trying to warn him of what he was about to get thrust upon him but he had already heard it, a wailing kid and a pissed off old lady. Jax went over and picked up his upset son, "what's wrong little man?"

"Well maybe if he hadn't been waiting 20 minutes for his dad he would be in a better mood to see you," she shot at Jax. "Really, why do we even come out here, I guarantee it's not for the scenery." She hadn't even touched him, she was just standing there with her hand on her hips.

"You done?" Jax asked straight forward. She gave him a look to tell him he was pushing his luck and not to try her.

"Look, babe, I'm sorry," Jax spoke with a bit of empathy as he reached his free hand out to her hip. She tried to pull back from him some, but Jax caught one of her belt loops.  
"I am not playing that game Tara," he warned. Tara had venom in her eyes as she looked up at him but finally she stepped in closer, almost like she was going to square off with him. Jax knew Tara was tough, sure she had gone to med school but buried deep in her was still a girl he knew could throw down if push come to shove.

He moved his hand up to her shoulder, giving it a slight rub before pulling her into him. She fought back for a moment but eventually frustratingly collapsed into his embrace.

"I am still fucking pissed at you," she said muffled against is broad chest.  
"I know," he spoke laying a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up at him and finally gave him a single unenthusiastic kiss. Abel had finally stopped crying and Tara just stood silently and angrily against him, but she had wrapped her arms around to his back which Jax saw as a good sign. She just breathed there for a moment, taking in the scent of him, while Jax talked to Abel.

"Two minutes," the guard yelled out. Jax's finally felt a tinge of assurance when he felt Tara pull him a little tighter. They took just a moment before Jax set Abel down who was now wrapped around Taras leg. He put both arms over her shoulders then gently lifted her chin forcing her to look at him  
"Still pissed at me?" he asked going in for a kiss.  
"Yes" Tara flatly reply, but met his lips for a peck.  
"Still love me?" he questioned.  
"Of course I still love you, you ass," Tara responded still obviously pissed. He gave her a kiss on the forehead pulled her in tight. She looked up at him and he gave her a real proper kiss, "all serious babe, stuffs going down, I know you know that. Listen to Opie and Chibs." Tara rolled her eyes.

"Let's move out boys," the guard announced. He bent down to give Abel one last kiss.  
"Say bye dada," Tara coaxed. Abel open and closed his hand bye.

"Say bye momma," Jax threw back at her going in for a goodbye kiss.

"Fix this shit Teller," she commanded rarely using his last name pointing at his chest leaving on last hasty peck on his lips, "love you." Her tone was stern and flat as she turned on her heel and was out the door without a second's hesitation.

Jax ran his hand through his hair as he paced towards the door back to holding.

"That was rough," a guard mentioned to Jax. He balled his fists at his sides, "ya think," he replied.  
"You know for $500 bucks I can get you four hours alone with her… conjugal," the guard softly threw to him. Jax looked at him pissed but still intrigued.  
"You're not married, but looks like she's your baby momma… I've made harder things work. Just say the word man," the guard went on.

"Set it up," was all Jax said as he walked through to the guard escorting him back to his cell.

* * *

Opie knew he was also in trouble once Tara came out from vistiation. "Get in the car Opie," was all she commanded as she put Abel in his carseat and sat in silence the rest of the way back to the clubhouse.

Opie had asked her to come inside the clubhouse for a bit while he got her monthly cash envelope. Chips immediately scooped up Abel to play with him for a bit while Tara took a seat by Piney. She had just had all she could take for the day when two crow eaters walked past her, "who let a pregnant bitch in here," was all Tara heard as they walked by.

Tara exhaled and braced herself to get up from her seat, "excuse me while I go handle some shit," she spoke to Piney.  
Piney gave out a small laugh then snapped at a prospect, "follow her."

Tara found the two crow eaters hanging behind the bar drinking a beer.

"Can I help you," the one who made the pregnant comment said in a bitchy tone.

Tara put a hand on her belly, "no, see, I came to ask you that" she said in an obvious fake sweet voice before shifting her tone to reveal her true intentions. "Because when you are in this clubhouse, well you might as well be in my house, and a little respect goes a long way."

The prospect stood back behind Tara and the crow eater seemed to take notice. Tara continued gaining confidence, "so where did they find you? A strip club? Some shitty little biker bar?" She shook her head at them, "you get one pass for not know who I am but after this you either fall in line or you're gone..."

"What are you just some old lady around here?" the bitchy one asked.

Tara took a step closer to her, "No I am not just some old lady, see when this baby's grandmother is not present in this clubhouse," she rubbed her stomach, "I am THE old lady around here. This little guy right here, this is Jackson Teller's son and so is that one over there," she motioned to Abel, "and do you know what else they are, Gemma and Clay's grandkids. Now show some respect before you make yourself look even more stupid than you already are…" with that Chibs walked over holding Abel.

"All good here, Doc?" Chibs asked setting Abel down next to Tara.

"Yes just giving these girls here a friendly welcome, isn't that right ladies," Tara coaxed. They both nodded.  
Opie walked over to Tara and handed her the cash.

Tara tuned to look straight at Opie and Chibs, "are we clear of this crap yet?" They both nodded their heads no.

"Well at least tell me who the fuck is trying to hurt my family," she questioned.

Opie finally broke, "we think the Russians are up to something, some pay back, but we don't know what yet."

Tara shook her head at them as her phone rang, "hello?"

"Hello is the Dr. Tara Knowles?" the voice on the other end questioned. She looked at the guys and decided to put the phone on speaker.  
"Speaking," she responded.

"Calling to confirm your Family Reunion Program visit for Tuesday afternoon, you are confirmed for 2pm," the voice spoke.  
Tara looked at the guys confused, and Chibs nodded to her to say yes.

"Um alright, thank you, 2pm," Tara responded unsure.

"Great check in at the usual visitation desk at 2pm and bring the 5," the phone clicked.

Tara turned to Opie, "what the fuck was that?"

Opie just laughed, "guess Jax figured out what guard to bribe - you'll need to bring $500 cash with you... not a bad rate for a conjugal."

"A conjugal," Tara swallowed. She went from being full fledge pissed off to all the sudden nervous.

"Yeah darling," Opie spoke sarcastically, "cheer up, a little action will be good for both of you."

 ** _Month 6 To Be Continued..._**


	10. Month 6 - Pt 2

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

ya ya here you go ;) Enjoy and as always I did not create these characters but story beats are my own.  
Reviews and comments always much appreciated!

* * *

In only the last few days Tara had gotten the least amount of sleep she had in months, fought with Jax, bitched out some croweaters, and toted a gun around with her constantly. And to top it all off, Abel had taken those first few steps on his own, and it broke her heart that Jax was not there to see it.

Jax on the other hand had been a tightly wound bundle of stress and rage. Other than his few talks with the Russians he basically spent his time those last few days chain smoking, pacing and doing push ups; trying to work off his anger any way he could. Jax had all but commanded Clay to tell Gemma during his phone privilege that she would be looking after Abel on Tuesday and that Tara needed to come alone to Stockton. He needed some time with her.

As Tuesday rolled around Tara was a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand she was completely exhausted, but at the same time she was equally nervous and excited, all still while being just a little pissed off at the man she loved. She put on her jeans which now needed a pregnancy band to support her stomach and a flowy top along with the $500 cash in her purse.

She was a nervous wreck as she drove alone to to Stockton but checked into the visitors center and passed along the cash at check in as instructed. All she had to do was go through a metal detector and have her purse searched for narcotics and weapons and she was escorted to the 'family room' where she waited for Jax.

The room was sparse… it had a slightly larger bed that what she envisioned Jax was sleeping on that was made up with generic bedding. They had a small private bathroom and a kitchenette. The whole thing reminded her of a cheap hotel room. She sat in the small chair opposite the door just waiting, nervously playing with the hem of her shirt.

Jax finally entered the room with an escort who informed them they had four hours alone and to not do anything he would regret. His face was stern and she could tell he had been working through stuff the last few days. They could always read each other. Jax could see she was a wreck - exhausted, still pissed, but there was a hint of something else, like she was fighting her own anger.

Jax spoke first, "I didn't like our last visit" he said as he crossed his arms leaning against the wall half a room away from her.

"Yeah well I didn't either Jackson," Tara spoke as she started to approach him. "Listen Teller, I am always waiting for you and this club," she stalked closer to him with angst in her voice, "I have to wait 14 months, pregnant - don't make me wait 20 more minutes again." She paced right up to him sternly, a mix of venom and lust in her eyes, before grabbing him by his hair and kissing him hungrily.

Jax was taken off guard and in moment later relaxed letting her take the lead with his only response being, "yes ma'am" his hands grabbing for her. All of their kissing in the visitation room had been relatively sweet and more PG rated, but this was different, this was a need. It was the first time he had to actually maneuver around her pregnant body. Tara was not huge yet, but it definitely wasn't the body he knew like his own. He couldn't reach to his usual hand placements and ended up with a hand in her hair and one trolling along her hip. He could tell she was struggling too, not able to get fully flush against his chest.

He spun her around and found the spot on her neck that drove her wild while she was finally able to place her back firmly against him. His arms reached around and kneaded her breasts through her shirt. He bit her earlobe as he whispered, "I have missed you so much."  
He gave her neck a bit more attention before she turned to face him again attacking his mouth. While still kissing her Jax slowly guided them away from the wall towards the bed.

He broke from her for a moment sitting on the bed, "how do we do this Tara?"

It was just a second but he could see a flash of nervousness and insecurity cross her face. Jax took a seat on the bed, pulling Tara to stand in between his legs as his hands automatically went to her stomach. Jax decided he would have to take the lead on this one realizing she was just a clueless as he was, "we just go with what you are comfortable with."  
Tara nodded but Jax moved first and with confidence, slowing down the pace from the feverish make-out session that had just happened.

He kissed her softly, his hands slowly exploring her new body. He took off his shirt exposing his chiseled abs and returned to kissing her slowly and softly. Her hands traced the muscles of his arms. They finally made their way onto the bed and Tara took the lead positioning herself on top. Jax slowly removed her clothes piece by piece making sure to worship her body, not wanting her to feel self conscious at all.

"I love you," was all he could say as the two slowly found their way into each other, sharing the love that they had both desperately been missing these last few months.

* * *

They both laid there for a while in the small bed, Jax leaning up against the wall and Tara against his chest wrapped in his arms. His hands snaked down to her stomach and Tara placed her hand on top of his, feeling where their son was.  
"I had Lowen look into furlough," Tara spoke first, "turns out you're not in here long enough."  
He kissed the top of her head. It meant a lot to him that she was doing everything possible, even without him knowing, to see if he could be there for the birth of their son. "Sorry babe," she went on kissing his fingers on their interlocked hand.

"No I'm sorry babe," Jax started, "this whole thing was terrible timing."  
Tara tilted to her head to look up at him, "he will be worth it, Abel is worth it."

All Jax could do was kiss her. Kiss her lips, kiss her hand, kiss her forehead. God he had missed her... and his son. He just missed his family, the one he wanted to keep safe and away from the worries and pain of SAMCRO.

"Oh my god, I forgot," Tara sat up turning to Jax, "he walked, Abel walked." She was all smiles.  
Jax laughed, "of course he did."

There time together was short but they had enough time to work off their 6 months of separation at least once more. They were both feeling a lot better by the end of their four hours together. Jax had made the most of it, trying to memorize every aspect of Tara's pregnant body unsure if they would get this opportunity again.

"Can you bring Abel by this weekend," Jax asked as they were nearing the end.  
"Of course baby," she responded rubbing his arm. He sat on the bed, fully clothed and ready for the guard to knock on the door at any moment. Tara was behind him rubbing his shoulders, trying to re-affirm her man.

"We are okay baby, we are going to make it through this," she spoke as he caught one the hands massaging his shoulder taking it into his own and leading it to his lips, laying a kiss there. The dreaded knock came alerting them that their time was up. Hand in hand they walked to the door, opening it.

Jax took her into his embrace, "I love you," he said leaning his forehead against hers.  
"I love you too Jackson," Tara responded leaving a kiss on his lips, "don't you forget that. See you in a few days."

He kissed her one last time as the guard took Jax away, another escorting Tara back to the check in area.

Jackson was escorted back to the yard where the rest of SAMCRO proceeded to make fun of him like he was 16 again.  
"All right, all right," Jax finally cut them off. Clay grasped him by the shoulder, "ya'll work that shit out son?"  
"Yeah, we are good, just gotta keep that momma happy is all," Jax responded. Clay chuckled back at him, "truer words have never been spoken son."

Jax found his solace back in his journal. Making both confessions and promises to his sons. He wanted them to know one day that he understood the weight of all this, and for them to understand the burden and strength their mother has to endure it.

* * *

When Saturday had come back around Jax was waiting in the visitation room looking bright and rested. He hadn't slept that good in months but after a few hours with Tara he had final relaxed and really slept. Tara, on the other hand, entered the visitation room hand in hand with a now (sort-of) walking Abel and Gemma following behind. She looked even more exhausted then the last Saturday.

Jax crouched down to his knees as Tara approached with Abel. "Go on," she coached him, "show daddy what you can do."  
Abel stumbled but successfully walked to Jax, who immediately scooped him up and spun him around. With Abel on his hip, he greeted his mom who sat down at the table, Tara slowly following suit behind them.

He leaned over to give Tara a quick kiss, "hi." She sweetly kissed him back but let out a small groan as she responded with a unenthusiastic, "hey." Jax stood Abel up and he wrapped his arms around his fathers leg for stability.

"Everything okay," Jax questioned obviously worried.  
"Yes Jackson, you're son's are both more than fine, both very active," Tara groggily responded with a small smile on her face.  
Gemma butted in, "that stinker," she motioned to Abel, "is all over the place, and that one," Gemma eyed Tara's belly, "well lets say I know what its like to carry a Teller, you boys love to kick all night."  
Tara exhaustedly smiled at Jax, "it's fine babe, just a little tired." He sat behind her on the metal bench, passing Abel over to Gemma.

He put his hand on her shoulders as he spoke, "shoulders or back?"  
Tara closed her eyes as she responded, "back." Jax began to knead her lower back working out some of the tension she had been carrying and laid a kiss in the crook of her neck, reminding both of them of just a few days ago.

Jax continued to work on her back while he carried on a conversation with his mom catching up on her life and Abel. Tara tuned it all out and just relaxed into Jax's hands as she felt a little kick.

"Jax, come here," Tara took his hand and led it to the spot on her stomach where she had just felt him. His free hand slowly still worked her lower back but Jax was intently focused on the hand covering side of Tara's stomach. He felt it. It was strangest feeling in the world, but he was elated. A few moments later he felt another small force against his hand. Jax buried his head into the crook of Tara's neck fighting off tears of happiness.

"That's Thomas," Tara spoke almost in a whisper, "felt the first one the night after I saw you and he hasn't stopped since." Jax just kissed her on the cheek.

"Have I told you that you are amazing," was all he could mutter.  
"Yeah well like father like son, doesn't want his momma to get any sleep," Tara laughed and Gemma rolled her eyes.

Tara, regaining some strength picked up Abel from Gemma, "Alright Abel we are going to work on this walking of yours."

Jax crouched down away from the table only a small space away from where Tara stayed seated as Abel walked from his mom to his dad with his proud grandma Gemma looking on.


	11. Month 7 - Pt 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Sorry for this one taking a bit longer… Been busy! BUT I am about to go on vacation so hopefully a lot of writing!  
Again this will be a long month split up into parts so I hope you enjoy. Thank you all for your reviews and comments - they really make me want to keep writing and carry on!

* * *

Tara had a long day at the hospital in front of her. She got the call in the middle of the night that a mother had been brought in, going into labor very early in her pregnancy. Tara herself was just about 7 and a half month along and cradled her growing stomach selfishly thankful that her baby was still safe and sound, growing inside her. From the call that night she knew a tedious surgery was in front of her that day.

She had phoned Gemma early letting her know... Gemma never minded taking Abel a few extra hours, in fact, Tara sensed that nothing made her happier. As she got Abel ready to be dropped of at Grandma's house her fingers traced the small scars along his chest and stomach. She had put this boy, her son, back together before he was even hers. Somewhere deep down, from the first time she saw the pre-op chart read Teller, she knew this boy was part of her even though they shared no DNA... and now she was even more sure. While she was not in his biological makeup she was there, in his scars, in his beating heart, and in Abel's life. She did that; and today she would have to do it for another child.

Tara had dropped Abel off even earlier than usual. Gemma had a bunch of paperwork to catch up on so little Abel and her made their way to Teller-Morrow for the morning. Things with the club had been relatively quiet since the club had put a full guard on Tara and Gemma. Chibs, Opie and the prospects were working at the garage along with the additional hired hands.  
"What do you think Mommy wants for dinner," she absentmindedly spoke to Abel, "she has a long day at work so Grandma needs to take care of you, your mommy and your little brother. You excited to be a big brother my sweet angel?"

All in all it was looking like a normal day as Gemma's cell phone rang with a number that she did not recognize.  
"This is Gemma," she answered in her no-fucks-given attitude. As the voice on the other end of the phone spoke, the color drained from her face and Gemma sunk deeper into her office chair. She was silent as she hung up the phone, only answering with a few "uh-huh's" here and there.

Tears began to stream down her face when Chib's spotted her through the window that looked from the office into the garage. He treaded carefully as he made his way into the office and asked, "What is it Gem?"

"I, I," Gemma stumbled through her words trying to gain her compsure, "can someone please drive me to St. Thomas?"

Chibs was clearly worried, but in his usual stoic way he remained calm. "Yeah, of course we can do that," Chibs calmly spoke, "can you tell me what's got you so upset Gemma? Is Tara alright?"

She looked up at Chibs, eyes full of tears, "my," she stuttered, "my baby was stabbed" was all she could get out.

Chibs was a bit unsure of which baby she was talking about but figured that Tara and the un-born Thomas were not who she was referring too. "Gemma, are we talking about Jax here," he questioned remaining fully in control.

Gemma was still fighting tears while trying to get her strength about her, "yes. Stockton called, Jax... he got stabbed. Oh god Jackson."  
Chibs moved closer to her starting to rub her arm in comfort, "alright, alright, what else d'they say?"

She took a moment and finally got her wits about her, "not much, just that he was in their infirmary and they had not decided if he was critical enough to go to the hospital. We have to tell Tara in person, she pregnant for christ-sake, I cannot have anything happening to my grandbaby."

Chibs hollered through the door to Opie who immediately entered cautiously.

"It's alright Gemma," Chibs continued to soothe her. He looked at Opie, "Jax has had a bit of trouble in lock up, we are gonna need to go to St. Thomas and make sure Doc hears it from us."

Opie gave Chibs a inquiring glance but figured he would find out the whole story as soon as they got Gemma settled.

"Ratboy," Opie called out to the prospect, "gonna need ya to drive Gemma to St. Thomas."  
The prospect, George, immediately threw on his kutte as Opie threw him the keys to Gemma's Cadillac.  
"We are right behind ya," Chibs called out as he and Opie headed to their bikes.

* * *

Tara was scrubbing down post surgery. It had been a standard PDA surgery to close a hole in the preemies heart. The baby she had to operate on was 3 weeks younger than her Thomas, a sobering thought that personalized her work even more so.

After the surgery Tara was exhausted, but she only had a few more weeks until her maternity leave started. She retreated to her office to lie on her couch for a few minutes in attempts to regains some of her strength that seemed to disappear a little more each day. When she had finally gotten her feet up and her arm covering her eyes there was a knock on the door.  
"One moment" she spoke loudly as she slowly tried to straighten herself up.  
"Hey darling it Gem," hearing the familiar voice Tara laid back down and responded with a tired, "come in."

Gemma entered the small office with a sleeping Abel in the stroller. It was normal for Gemma to come by with him but when Opie and Chibs followed behind Tara began to feel concerned. Ratboy took a seat in the chair across from Tara's door as it shut... this was old lady and club business.

Still laying there Tara slowly and worryingly asked, "what is it now?" Gemma came over to the couch where Tara was laying and crouched down to be on her level, she took one of Tara's hands.  
"Honey, we got some news," Gemma was now the voice of calm in the storm. She continued, "Stockton called and it seems that Jackson," she took a deep breath, "well Jackson was attacked, or got into a fight or something. We don't really have the full story but he was stabbed."

Tara's eyes jolted open and a protective hand went to her stomach. Her first instinct was to sit up but her body was too heavy for quick motions. Opie came to her side and helped her upright.  
"What do you mean he was stabbed?" Tara started, "like stabbed to death? Stabbed in the thigh?" Tara was racing to every conclusion as she continued to rub her stomach.  
Opie finally cut in, "all we know is that they are trying to decide if he needs to come to the hospital or if it can be handled at the infirmary."

Tara took several deep and audible breaths in and out trying to calm herself down.  
"Get me up Opie," Tara commanded as he stood to give her a hand. She got to her desk and found a number from one of her files and started to dial.

"Yes, this is Dr. Tara Knowles," she spoke into the phone without telling Gemma and the boys who she was calling. "Yes... yes..." she was responding to someone on the other end of the line. "Yes I need to check on the health status of an inmate at Stockton Prison please, name is Jackson Nathaniel Teller, my understanding was he was involved in an accident and may need to be transferred to my hospital for further care. We need to know if we need to be ready for an inmate arrival. Yes I will hold," Tara waited.

Gemma hated not knowing everything going on, she also secretly hated that Tara may be able to find out more than her.  
She could tell that the voice on the other end of the phone had started to speak again as Tara was nodding her head while listening to the phone.

"Yes," Tara responded, "yes... understood. Let us know if the situation changes. Okay, thank you doctor," and with that Tara hung up the phone. She let out a deep breathe and dropped her head into her hands for a moment before speaking, "Okay he was stabbed three times in the side by another inmate, they were concerned that he punctured a lung but it looks like they missed all vital organs - thank God - but he's got a pretty bad flesh wound. They are just going to monitor him for now." She had gone into to full blown doctor mode for now. Just understanding the prognosis and what was going to happen next, temporarily detaching from that fact that the father of her children was who was stabbed.

Gemma was rubbing her cross necklace as she let out a soft, "thank God."  
"I am going to go home, I think," Tara spoke. Chibs butted in telling her that she was not driving herself anywhere. She agreed as she piled into the back seat of Gemma's car as they all headed for her and Jackson's house.

* * *

Opie had called for Phil to bring some food over to the house. He had called Piney who also was on his way. Gemma was busing herself with Abel and laundry, while Tara was lying in on her bed letting it all wash over her. She felt scared, and worried and angry all at once.

They were all waiting for a phone, any phone to ring with some further update from Stockton. The silence was scary. Clay hadn't called, the prison hadn't called and Tara could not pull the concerned for the safety of her hospital surgeon act again.

It had just started to grow dark and Tara had been in and out of varying states of consciousness. At this point she had cried, been pissed off, felt her baby kick and her heart swell, then just realize she was extremely uncomfortable. She had probably passed out for about 45 minutes total.

She could hear that the guys and Gemma were still at her house when she got out of bed and made her way to the kitchen.  
"Mommy," Abel called out to her from his highchair. She smiled at her little man and picked him up, "hey baby."  
She bounced Abel along on her hip as she turned to Gemma, "have we heard anything?"  
They all looked solum as Gemma quietly responded, "nothing yet."

Tara, while still holding Abel, dug through the fridge for food. The smell of the pizza that Phil had brought over was making her want to vomit. There was no way she was eating that. She settled for hummus and crackers to help satiate her hunger.

When her home phone rang everyone was silent. Tara handed of Abel as she made her way to pick up the line. Tara talked into the phone, once again leaving the rest of them out of the loop. She talked for about 5 or so minutes but is seemed like an eternity asking medical questions and just responding with a generic "yes" or "uh-huh." Gemma had been waiting long enough when Tara finally hung up the line.

"So," Gemma blatted out.  
Tara took another deep breath, "Okay it wasn't a fight he was attacked - they wouldn't say who did it. Jax will probably be in the infirmary for 3 or 4 days, their main concern is infection. No visitation until for two weeks and the rest of SAMCRO got put on lock down in fear of gang retaliation. Clay and the guys should have phone privileges back tomorrow."

"So he's gonna be ok?" Gemma finally let out. Tara rubbed her stomach, "he'll survive."

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Alright I know the appisodes say that the stabbing happened on day 26 of his lock up, but he was still tender in the app-isode where Jax meets Thomas for the first time so I made the decision to push this event closer to the birth of his son. So please forgive my timeline, but I think it works better (and makes more sense) for the story.

As alway reviews are very much appreciated!


	12. Month 7 - Pt 2

AUTHORS NOTE:

Still working through this story, but needed to do another SOA binge to get the voices back - thanks for your patience!

Hope you enjoy and as always I own nothing of SOA or its characters.

* * *

Chibs and Opie had left directly following the call, obviously prepping for whatever retaliation would need to come next. Word went out on the street to find out who called the hit and all evidence pointed that the Russian threat was back. The club knew that this attack would need a response, but the priority right now was keeping everyone in Stockten whole. They would have to wait until Clay could call for their next move.

Tara woke up the next morning to the now, all too familiar, presence of Phil sitting in her living room with a shotgun across his lap and Gemma had passed out on the daybed in Abel's room. They were back on lock down.

"I have to go to the hospital this morning," she informed Phil. She wanted to take most of the day to figure out what exactly was happening with Jax, but she also needed to check on her patients, especially the preemie that she had just operated on.

Dressed in her scrubs and doctors coat she entered the small room where her tiny patient was resting in the incubator, his mother sitting close by in the rocking chair.

"Good morning," Tara greeted, "this little one is looking well," Tara informed looking over the charts and heading toward the incubator in the middle of the room. She put on fresh gloves and opened the two small doors to check the baby's incision.

"And how are you doing mom," Tara asked.

The mother let out a sigh and smiled a bit disingenuously, "we are just glad the surgery is over."

Tara reassured her, "well she looks to be healing right up, just need to get some more weight on her and monitor her sleep apnea, but babies are fighters." She closed up the incubator and made a few notes on heart rates and oxygen levels in her charts.

Things were chaotic at the Teller house when Tara arrived home. Gemma was trying to deal with the anxiety of Jax's health the only way she knew how… by being in command. The prospects where assembling the new crib that had been delivered and the grass had already been mowed by the time she got home. Gemma was cooking up a storm and Lyla was on laundry duty.

Tara came in and exhaustedly sat on the sofa observing the controlled chaos around her.

"Hear anything baby," Gemma questioned. Tara shook her head no.

"I am gonna give them a call," she responded retreating into the kitchen.

Dialing a number she had on haphazardly scribbled down she was connected to a prison employee. She took in another heavy breath of patience as she was passed from staff member, to nurse, to staff member before finally reaching someone who had seen Jax.

"Hi yes this is Dr. Tara Knowles. I am calling about a patient I think you are looking after, name is Jackson Teller." Gemma leaned onto the wall near Tara, trying to catch any bit of the conversation she could.

"No, I am not his doctor," Tara spoke to the voice on the other end of the phone obviously annoyed, "neonatal surgery," she continued. "I am Jackson's girlfriend, I also have his mother here with me," with that Gemma perked up and came to sit at the table next to her.

"Last we heard all vital organs had been missed but they were still monitoring him, I just wanted to see if there was any additional update," Tara asked. There was a lot more "uh huh"s and head nodding that followed as the doctor explained more of Jackson's prognosis.

"Got it… when do you think we will be able to visit him?" Tara asked.

"Ok, ok, thank you Doctor."

Gemma hung onto the silence as Tara hung up the phone. "You and me only in two days," Tara said. "Oh thank God," Gemma replied. "Are we still on fucking lock down," Gemma asked of one of the prospects. "Yes ma'am," Phil responded hestitanly, "until we hear from Clay… Orders are to lock you three down."

"So it's just us two of us and Able are under house arrest… damn I just got off house arrest," Gemma continued to bitch. Tara was exhausted by the whole day and just walked to her and Jax's room with a simple, "I am going to lie down, can someone make something for dinner?"

They were a long two days of waiting but the day finally came for Tara and Gemma to finally see Jax. Check in was brutally slow but they found themselves waiting outside the door with a guard.

"Mom," a hoarse Jax somewhat lit up wincing in pain as he sat up a bit, "babe."

"Oh sweetheart," Gemma's fierce maternal instincts were kicked into overdrive. Tara was relieved to see him talking but the emotions overwhelmed her. "I'm ok...Promise," Jax let out as she made her way over to him.

Tara took his hand and eyed his chart on the bed and without a second thought grabbed for it.

The guard called over, "ma'am, sorry ma'am you can't do that."

Tara snapped back, "it's doctor not ma'am, as in surgeon." Gemma gave Jax an approving look as the guard backed down.

She read through his chart as he kissed her hand. "I am going to need to see his doctor," she commanded, "now." Putting the chart away she returned her attention to Jax. It was clear he was looking for some comfort but now Tara's was the one in protection mode.

She sat in the chair next to his bed he was handcuffed too. "Babe, its fine," he tried to coax as she started to pull back the gown to examine where he was stabbed. The guard was again unsure of how to proceed,"ma'am I am not sure you are supposed too…" But this time it was Gemma's stare that shut him down.  
"What did they let Tig stitch you up, Jesus…" Tara went on inspecting. She went back to his chart and Jax laid his head down in defeat… he was getting Dr. Knowles today.

Gemma tried to console him as much as possible. "What happened baby," she asked. Jax turned to the distracted Tara and placed his hand on her stomach, "got jumped, two guys. Happy was on them before they could finish the job."

"Oh God, Jackson," Tara turned to him, finally getting her attention back on him.

"Apparently, they missed hitting anything," Jackson continued, "that's all they've told me."

A doctor finally walked over to the them and Jax could see Tara turn fierce.

"Hello, assuming you are his mother and… partner," the doctor started cautiously, "as I mentioned no serious damage was done… just a flesh wound."

"Did you do this stitch work," Tara questioned taking his chart back in her hands. "Ma'am if you will just…" the doctor started before Tara cut him off.

"It's Doctor…" she went through the chart. "No reports of a tetanus shot administered… did you? And what course of antibiotics is he on? Where is the blood work?"

The doctor clearly did not know what he was walking in on.  
"Apologies for the oversight Doctor, yes we administered a tetanus shot directly following the incident, gave him intravenous antibiotics, and honestly the blood work is backed up."

Tara just rolled her eyes at him and Jax gave a cocky smirk. "I am going to need an HIV, Hep C and whatever the hell else he might catch work up sent over to St. Thomas by the end of the day, got it?"

"Yes, ma'am, I mean Doctor, will go look into those now," he said as he walked away.

"Tara," Jax coaxed her down from her attack mode, "just come here babe." She turned to him finally with some sympathy and brushed the hair out of his face and Gemma continued to hold his free hand. "Don't worry about me… I will be fine," Jax responded. She leaned in to give him a kiss. "Too late, it's my job to worry," was all she could say as she looked down on him laying in the infirmary bed. "Mine too baby," Gemma added. "Love you mom," Jax responded kissing her hand.

Leaving Jax in that bed was the hardest time either of them had leaving Stockten. By the time they got to St. Thomas Jackson's blood work had been faxed over and all looked clear.


	13. Month 7 - Pt 3

It was 48 hours after visiting Jax in the infirmary that the club declared it was safe enough to call off Tara and Gemma's prospect escorts. With Tara days away from starting her maternity leave she was devoting as much time possible at St. Thomas trying to wrap up her patients and update the other physicians anything that would overlap.

Tara had also finally swallowed her pride and asked for help. Exhausted, she called in her favors from SAMCRO. The nursery was almost finished, the house was clean and Abel was at Gemma's for the afternoon. Tara had planned on napping but just couldn't get comfortable so she retreated to the rocking chair in Abel's room. It had only been a few months ago Abel was taken, then shit she got taken… Jax had saved both of them.

She hadn't thought about the letters she found for a long time but sitting here in this rare moment of silence she was curious again. She had hidden them in her closet away where Gemma wouldn't come across them accidently. Sitting in the rocker she poured back over them, piecing together the life of John Teller. Jax in some ways was so similar to him and in other ways the complete opposite. She could see the parts of his life where Gemma and Clay had molded him differently, and the parts that remained. Then there was the parts she had touched.

JT never had someone outside of the MC life. Someone there to put the pieces back together. Someone saying there was a different way. Even Maureen, who seemed to be his one outlet, only knew a life if violence. But reading the letters she began to question JT's accident.

She could never go to Gemma with this but maybe she could talk to Piney...  
Tara sought him out at the clubhouse secretly looking for someone to tell her she was crazy and this was all in her head, but all Piney could respond with was a warning to drop her suspicions. "Whatever you read... dead history," he said as he got up from the table leaving Tara behind wishing she had never opened the letters. She needed Gemma right now, hell she needed Clay to some extent, and more than that she needed the club. It was the first moment that she was worried she knew too much.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This is a short chapter leading into the "Tara and Piney Appisode" - check it out on YouTube if you have not seen these.  
Next chapter will be a full one again!


	14. Month 8

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This is my longest chapter yet but had this brewing in my head for a while... hope you enjoy!  
Just a reminder this fanfic stays in the realm of the show... so no "fix its" - maybe for another time.

* * *

For the first time since Jax got jumped by the Russians, things went back to being relatively slow. After a week in the infirmary, Jax went back into gen pop and joined the rest of the guys. Their regular visitation rights had resumed and apart from Tara checking his wound every visit to make sure he was healing correctly they had a moment of normalcy… well as normal as they could get.

The guys were half way done with their sentence and had so far kept up their good behavior to get out early. Clay was working on some new deals inside while Chibs and Opie were keeping things running outside. Jax continued on as Clay's number 2 balancing his duty to the club with his ever increasing anxiety of becoming a new father. Abel was born so prematurely he didn't have time to worry about being a dad, and honestly at the time he really didn't care. But with Tara, Abel and Thomas on the way, all Jax did was care.

Happy and Juice did as they usually did, worked out, played basketball and followed orders. Tig maintained his role as sergeant at arms protecting Clay, and Bobby mainly spent his time making sure Tig stayed out of trouble. Overall it looked like they just needed to ride out the next few months.

Opie, Chibs, Tara, Gemma and Abel were all packed into Gemma's SUV heading to Stockten for another Saturday visit. "Ladies, fair warning this may be a bit longer meeting than usual," Chibs spoke as they turned into the gate for visitor parking, "club business ya know."

Gemma sighed, "do what you need but I get at least 10 minutes."  
"We'll do what we can," Opie responded back with little promise in his voice.  
"Give me two minutes before you guys start," Tara broke in, "promise just two minutes."  
Chibs and Opie looked at each other… "fine doc," Chibs responded.

They made their way into the visitation area. Chips and Opie headed straight to the table with the rest of their club, Tara following behind. Jax eyeing this got up and made his way over to her.

"She said it would be quick," Opie informed.

"Everything okay babe," Jax asked approaching Tara noticing she was getting bigger each week.

"Yeah," she gave him a quick peck as she lowered herself to the bench, "just checking your stitches…" she lifted his shirt and gently pulled back the gauze, "not waiting 20 minutes to find out I need to go raise hell with some nurse."

Jack laughed a bit, "it's fine babe." Tara inspected him and decided he was, in fact, fine replacing the covering. "He's all your boys," she said walking back to Gemma and Abel.

"Well at least we know you are the most look after patient in this joint," Clay joked and Jax rejoined the guys. "What's on the table?" Clay asked.

"Our friends in Lodi have asked for some Club support…" Opie started, "Chibs and I are fine with it, Kozik's on board, but needs an official vote."

"Don't want to get into specifics here boys, but just a tow job for a truck that's not permitted to be idling on that street, ya keen," Chibs explained.

"Any conflict with our current arrangements?" Jax asked. "None," Opie responded, "Alvarez wants the truck moved too."

"I'm fine with it," Clay voted followed by a corresponding raising of hands and yes's around the table. "Proceed with your automotive services boys," Clay finalized, "anything else?"

"Wedding date is set," Opie spoke and ears perked up around the table, "day you get out, on the Wahewa land, invites will be sent soon." All the guys nodded in understanding. "Will be a magical day Op," Clay responded, "alright if that's it I need to see my queen." Clay got up from the table and made his way to Gemma.

Tara took this as her cue to make her way with Abel back to Jax. "All good babe," Tara asked.

"Of course," Jax responded, "how are you doing?" Tara let out a long exhale as Jax took Abel and helped her sit down in the picnic table, "clean bill of health yesterday from the doctor. It's looking like his heart is normal right now." Jax gave her a kiss, "thank God" as his thumb ran over the scar where Abel's belly had been fixed. Tara responded, "your mom was very relieved."

"You sleeping at all?" Jax asked pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not too much," Tara responded. "Jax," she continued, "I am going to sell the cutlass no way I can get 2 car seats in that. Piney said he would help." Jax laughed a bit, this was the most normal conversation they had in weeks. "That's fine babe, just make sure Opie looks at whatever you end up getting."

The guard yelled out the two minute warning. "Babe I need a second with Opie - cool?"

"Yeah, of course," Tara started to get up taking Abel. Jax kissed Abel's head, "love you little man," and turned up to Tara, "love you babe." Jax kissed his hand and laid it on Tara's stomach and gave her a quick kiss before turning to Opie.

Tara made her way to where Gemma and Clay were standing. "Let me see my grandson," Clay said taking Abel, "looking good doc."

Jax called out to Opie, "Op...hate to ask man," he said as Opie walked over, "brother" Opie responded "you don't have too. I've got her." The two locked in a hug. "Gonna need you up there with me man," Opie continued, "you were by my side when I married Donna, what do you say?"

"Of course, brother," Jax responded energetically, "just make sure Tara doesn't by some piece of shit car alright." Opie laughed, "I got you. But seriously man I've got her - ok?"

"Love you bro," Jax responded as the guard called for for visitation to be over. Jax gave one quick look back to see Tara and Abel waving bye.

* * *

It was Friday night when Tara's phone rang in the middle of the night. Even though she was on maternity leave she instinctively answered from her years of of being on call for emergency surgery and more recently living in constant worry for Jax. Half awake she answered, "Hello, this is Dr. Knowles," half expecting it to be Margaret on the other end she immediately woke up when she heard it was Opie.

"Doc…" he started but Tara cut him off.

"What wrong?" she asked worried, her mind jumping to Jax's safety.

"We're gonna need you at the clubhouse, Chibs is shot up… it's pretty bad," Opie explained.

She could tell by the tone in his voice that he was worried. Tara got up out of bed and started to get her wits about her, "ok let me call Gemma and after she gets here I will come over."

Opie interjected, "no time… I have a prospect coming over to get you, just bring Abel. Open the garage so he can leave his bike. He will be there in five." With that the phone clicked.

Tara pulled herself out of the bed. "Shit," she said aloud to herself. She pulled on a pair of Jax's sweatpants that rested below her stomach and threw on one of his oversized Reaper Crew shirts that used to fit so loose on him was now tight on her. She made her way to the garage and opened the main door, got a diaper bag together grabbing some milk from the fridge and loaded fresh supplies in her med kit. Haphazardly she palmed the small gun she kept close when she heard the familiar sound of a bike pulling up.

Seeing it was the prospect she tucked the gun into the diaper bag. Phil pulled his Harley into their garage and lowered the door.

"Take these," she said handing over both the diaper and medical bag to the prospect throwing him the keys to the cutlass. She went back to Abel's room and gave him a slight rub, "sorry hun," she said picking him up as he began to cry. She tried to console him as much as she could. With Abel in one hand and the carrier in the other she made her way to the driveway where Phil had the car running ready to go.

Getting the crying Abel into carrier and locked into the car seat, they quickly made their way to the clubhouse to find Opie waiting for them outside.

"Thanks Tara," was all he could say as he escorted her into the clubhouse with a crying Abel in tow. Chibs was laid out on the pool table in obvious poor condition. Tara took a deep breath and went into surgeon mode. Phil followed behind with the bags.

There were a few strung out crow eaters in the club house, "here let me take him" one of them said reaching out for Abel.

"Arms, let me see your arms," Tara commanded. Both girls knew what she meant and turned out there arms revealing track marks, old and fresh. Tara handed Abel to Opie, "only you take care of this kid… clear? They," she referred to the crow eaters, "are not touching him. Got it?" Opie nodded, and took Abel. "And call Gemma," was her last order as she made her way to Chibs.

"Chibs," she called out seeing if he was conscious snapping her fingers in front of his face. "You," she pointed at Phil, "bag." The prospect was terrified of both the situation and of Tara, it was evident that right now, she was in charge.

The prospect started to bring in the diaper bag when Tara chastised him, "not the baby bag idiot, the other one." He stumbled a bit but eventually got her medial bag. "Stay here," Tara commanded. She opened the bag and put on a pair of gloves, handing a pair to the prospect. She dowsed Chib's shoulder with hydrogen peroxide to clear the blood and disinfect, then taking a syringe from her kit and measured out a bit of local anesthesia.

Injecting Chibs around the bullet entry points, she started to inspect them. "Ok, carefully pull him up a bit," Tara coached the prospect. It was hard for her to maneuver this pregnant but she managed to see that two of the bullets went straight through but one was still lodged in his shoulder. "Alright set him down easy," Tara was calm but assertive. "He will likely come too when I start to dig this slug out so I am going to need you to hold him down," the nervous prospect just nodded his head but took hold of Chib's good should and put a hand on his chest.

Tara took her forceps, disinfected them as best she could, and began to dig out the slug. As expected Chib's eyes opened as he started to fight back. "Hold him," Tara commanded. She got hold of the bullet and pulled it out with a gush of blood realizing an artery had been hit. Calm and collected as the experienced surgeon she was, she moved for her clamps and stopped the flow of blood. Suturing the artery and the additional entry and exit points, Tara finished with giving Chib's one last shot of penicillin.

She made her way to the old leather sofa and sat down, exhausted, taking her bloodied gloves off. "You did good," she said to Phil. She had always been good at building up the guys confidence when they were thrown into being an aid to her patching up a member. Her exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks as the adrenaline of surgery faded off.

"Opie," she called out. Opie walked in with a sleeping Abel in his arms. Tara whispered a bit, "can I just sleep in Jax's old room. I really don't think I can make it home." Opie nodded yes, and ordered the other prospect who had been loitering, "help her."

He came over and took her arm helping her to Jax's room, Opie following behind. "I got this guy," he motioned to Abel, " Gemma is on her way. You just sleep." Tara barely made it 5 minutes before she was asleep.

* * *

It was visitation day when Opie came in with Gemma and Abel. Jax scooped up his son, "where's Tara? Everything ok? Is the baby ok?" he was spiraling. Opie had the rest of the guys join them at the table, Gemma giving Clay a quick kiss before dismissing herself to another table.

"We had a situation last night," Opie started, "Chibs got shot." Jax interjected, "Opie where's Tara?"

"She's fine man, she's asleep," Opie said as Jax expression turned from concern to annoyance.

"What do you mean she's asleep, she hasn't slept in a month…" it began to dawn on him, "you did not call my eight and a half month pregnant wi..." Jax stumbled for a second unsure of what to call her at this point, "Tara, in middle of the night to patch this up…" Jax was back to spiraling.

Clay finally cut in, "Jax, take a breathe," he commanded, "Opie what happened? How's Chibs?"  
Opie couldn't look Jax in the eye, "Chibs is good... Doc, Tara, she's fixed him up."

Jax stood up holding Abel, "she's on f-ing maternity leave" he was shaking his head, but Clay had decided to ignore the comment.

"You made the right call," Clay was speaking to Opie, "this apart of that little favor we did."

"Yeah, handled but Chibs got popped 3 times in the shoulder and once in the kev," Opie explained. Jax was pacing the length of the table still holding Abel slightly bouncing him as he walked, "Jesus Christ."

Finally Opie had enough and turned to face Jax, "Look man, I had to make the call, I sent the prospect to get her… she wasn't out driving in the middle of the night and she slept in your old room. We kept an eye on her and I held him," pointing to Abel, "until Gemma got there. I told you I got her… You really think I would really put your pregnant old lady at risk, brother?" Opie could usually talk Jax down, but at least this time he shut him up.

Jax paced a few more lengths, calming down, before handing Abel off to Gemma and returning to the table. Clay laid out the course of action and Jax nodded in confirmation, his mind to preoccupied to worry about this right now.

Clay stood up, "now where is my sweet grandson," he spoke loudly walking over towards Gemma and Abel. Clay gave Gemma a deep kiss before sitting down to see Abel.

Jax was walking that way when Opie stopped him, "look man, I know what you are feeling." Jax gave Opie his pissed off side eye but he went on, "we all got Tara ok, I do, you know your mom does. I would tell you not to worry, but I know it's worthless. You just got to hang on a bit more brother and you will be back with your family."

* * *

Tara's phone rang and the familiar you are accepting a call from a prisoner line started. She took a deep breathe, Opie had told her that Jax was less than thrilled that she missed yesterday's visitation.

"Tara," Jax spoke first. She could tell his tone was annoyed, not angry.  
"Jackson," she responded back.  
"You ok," he started, "because when I hear your at the clubhouse in the middle of the night and sleeping through visitation I begin to worry."

She took a very audible breath into the phone, "thank you for your concern sweet heart," she responded throwing his sarcastic tone back at him pausing for silence.  
"I'm sorry babe," Jax softened his tone, "these guys are supposed to be looking after you, not the other way around."

"It's alright... I knew you would be less than thrilled, but this is who I am. Pregnant or not I am still a doctor. And I ensure you we are all ok - okay?" Tara went on. "I will be there in a few days promise."

Jax was running his fingers through his hair, "I just want you to take care of yourself..." he tried to continue.

Tara interrupted him, "I am... and so is Opie and your mom. Just try to stay calm in there." She could hear his breathing return to a more normal pace. "I will see you soon alright," she reassured.

"Yeah," he responded, "see you then... love you" as he clicked the phone down. He had about 4 more days until visitation...

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE:

Hope you enjoyed - more to come in about a week!


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